Author Archives: slater

PENCE PREPS PEERS PRIOR TO PRESIDENTIAL ASCENSION

Naval Observatory Washington DC May 17, 2017
“I stand fully by and with the President of the United States, Mr. Donald J.Trump. There is not a beam of sunlight between us or our positions. I am fully a loyalist and will go down with the ship or whatever it takes, hopefully we will sail on successfully. However, America is bigger than any one man. If called upon, I will rise to the occasion and serve this great nation of ours with honor, dignity and truthfulness through to the letter of the law. I have asked my wife to prepare for a move downtown to Pennsylvania Avenue, not that we want to, no, but that we must in the name of all that is good, just and right with this land. For it is not what the stars say in their vast alignment but what is in our hearts as Americans and fellow travelers in this country that none of us deserve but we are blessed to be a part of. I will accept my duties with a heavy heart and a willing spirit as I know our outgoing Commander in Chief would want me to do. I will forever be grateful to President Trump for his support and I think it is fair to say, I wouldn’t be where I am without his help.” ~~slater.com©

TRUMP SELECTS ERIC TRUMP AS FBI DIRECTOR

Washington, DC May 10, 2017
“My son Eric is very tall. About 6’7″ or so. Very tall. About the same height as former FBI Director Comey. He will do a fabulous job as Director. I wanted a fresh face. Someone from outside the agency to shake things up. Really place a new spin on the whole thing. Reset the priorities. Move the ball down field and reach our goals. I told him son, leave the past in the past. Focus on the future. With that in mind I’ve asked him to close the books on old and tired investigations. While everyone else is squinting to look in the rear view mirror I told him to ignore their cries for justice for past sins and begin anew. As far as me and the new Director are concerned today is the first day of the rest of our administration”. ~~slater.com

PUTIN TELLS TRUMP COMEY’S GETTING CLOSE

Washington, DC May 10, 2017
“I didn’t fire Comey because Vlad told me he’s on to us. There’s nothing for him to find anyway. I’m my own man. Everyone knows that. Decisions made by me are my own. Period. Vlad didn’t care if Comey was still the FBI Director when Sergey Lavrov arrived in DC today. I just thought that it would be a nice gesture. I mean I was planning to let him go anyway, so why not get some additional mileage out of it by having it timed for Sergey’s visit today. Kill two birds with one stone, so to speak”. ~~slater.com

TRUMP SAYS HE’S NOT STANDING BY ANYTHING

Washington, DC May 1, 2017
Interviewed by John Dickerson over the weekend President Trump finally admitted, “I don’t stand by anything.” We caught up with the President to see if we could get some clarification. Mr. President with all due respect, sir, you didn’t really mean that you don’t stand by anything, do you? “Yeah, actually I’m the one person here in Washington who does mean what they say. You watched the interview and I stand by my comments, each and every one.” But Mr. President, the key controversial statement that you made was that you don’t stand by anything, now you say that you do stand by your comments. “That’s right, I stand by my comment that I don’t stand by anything. But anything has different meanings to different people. Remember, citizens in this great country of ours are diverse. Not just in their appearance but in their views, education and life experiences. I am speaking to them, my American people. They deserve straight talk and I’m the one who’s gonna let them have it”. But, sir, how can you equate straight talk with not standing by anything you say? I mean you said that on tape for all to see on CBS. “Maybe they edited the tape in some way to make me look bad, that’s the fake news for you. I was just in Harrisburg with my folks and they don’t think much of the news either. I bet a lot of them wouldn’t stand by it. I don’t think we should stand for it either, do you?” Sir well, that’s not really for me to say. “Sure it is, you’re an American, right? You have the right to free speech. But remember that freedom isn’t free. I’m asking other countries to pony up right now by the way. No more free rides on old Uncle Sams back. No more freeloading. You wanna sit on my couch all day, you’d best have settled the bill with the front desk. Am I right?” Well sir, I, I don’t really know. But what about the fact that you stated on the record that you simply don’t stand for anything? “Well son, just because I seemed to say it, don’t make it true now does it?” ~~slater.com©

TRUMP SAYS NEW NAVAL CLOAKING DEVICE HUGE ADVANTAGE

Washington DC April 20, 2017
“We invented the flip phone, iPads and other technology from Star Trek futuristic props. It should be no surprise that we have adapted Romulan cloaking technology to our large naval vessels. Initially it was easy to cloak small boats and drones. I am told that we used certain proprietary light-reflective surface technology with advanced holographic mirroring techniques that cause both the human eye and radar/sonar to bypass our covered objects as if they were not there. We got some help from David Copperfield as well. Who said there are no patriotic magicians? The breakthrough came when we were able to boost the signal strength and cover larger areas. We not only hide objects that we choose but we replace the space they occupy with other projected images. Using a satellite-mounted laser delivery system we can keep the illusion steady and move it with exact precision through GPS. We can also just show the ocean. It’s really like bypassing a CCTV camera and replacing it with a loop of a clear hallway like you see in so many movies. We just do it in real life and in real time. Just between us, our internal code name is Ghost Ship. I have asked DARPA to begin to adapt this technology to mobile human forms asap. I’d like to move around without my entourage from time to time. Once we get this fine tuned, I could be in Mar-a-lago or on the golf course and you will believe I am in the White House. Gotta keep ’em guessing and off-balance, right? But look, everyone knows the element of surprise works well during military operations. I still get a kick out of thinking about our enemies lookouts with their binoculars saying “alls well”…. while our giant ships are sitting right off their coast”. ~~slater.com©

UNITED AIRLINES SAYS THEY WILL RENEW CUSTOMER FOCUS

Chicago, Illinois April 14, 2017
“We may have been a little overzealous with our passenger removal protocols. The video does not tell the whole story though. Where are the feel-good videos showing our flight attendants handing out pillows and slippers? That is never online, I noticed. Only the most outrageous out of context situations are captured. Was he really a doctor? Could he prove he had patients appointments back home? If he did, were they really so critical that he must personally attend or could someone else handle it? These are the questions we need answers to and quick. You have my word, this investigation is not over. We’ll continue to make our side of the argument and keep this issue alive as long as it takes no matter how low our stock goes or our moral sinks. Just on principal alone we must stay the course regardless of the outcome. Boycott us or not, we could care less. We don’t own much of this operation anyway. It belongs to the stockholders and almost none of them work here. If United goes the way of TWA or Eastern Airlines, who cares? A different airline will pick up the routes and we’ll just all get jobs there. Meanwhile, do what we say or I think you know the consequences”. ~~slater.com©

RUSSIA SAYS NYET

Moscow April 2, 2017
“No, we did not elect or help to elect your President Trump. We have enough to do here in our country. Many ills to fight and many challenges at home. As expert chess players if we wanted to make moves around your manbaby leader it would be how you say piece of cake. We could do it, of course, but it is not in our interest to run your country and ours simultaneously. We need to focus on our energy business and social programs and such. Why don’t you get your health care fixed? Are we interfering? Why don’t you get your roads, bridges, airports, tunnels, trains, electric grids, power plants, air traffic control, dams, cyber platforms and all other infrastructure repaired or upgraded? Is Big Bad Russian wolf stopping you? Why don’t you get your tax system reformed so your country will regain its competitiveness and your companies will stop hiding their profits offshore? How exactly are we preventing that? Why don’t you decide on your immigration policy? Do what you want. Are we hindering your decision-making abilities? We could care less who you choose to let in or keep out. While it is true that both our countries have been engaging in spying activities and disinformation campaigns for all of this century and most of the last, could it be comrades, that your government and press like to spar over inflammatory topics that inspire a nationalist spirit in your country to sell your news and to keep the peoples attention off of the real issues that affect them right now and will affect their children in the future? If so, then your misdirection is working and you can continue to point your finger and weapons at us. But we are not fooled. Not Nyet anyway”. ~~slater.com©

REPUBLICANS SAY THEY WILL OPPOSE OPPOSE OPPOSE

March 26, 2017 Washington, DC
“We were sent here to Washington by our constituents with a single purpose. Opposition. Oppose Democrats, Oppose Republicans, Oppose Liberals, Oppose Independents, Oppose Conservatives. Oppose anyone and oppose everyone. We will fight and stand by our convictions. We will not compromise. We will not waver and we will not bend nor break. We are firm in our resolve and hear us now: you can take your ill-designed, poorly thought out, Obamacare light, so-called repeal and replace and stuff it in your pillow for extra padding. Because that’s all you’re ever going to do with it. We must follow the wishes of our constituents. And they say, stay the course, easy on the gas, steady as she goes, this ship will not be swayed by your false promises and barely-couched threats. We are sticking and we’re all in with this hand. Until the people have a health care plan that’s as good as the Congressional Health care plan we have, we’ll be voting down any Democratically devised programs. We’ll wait ’em out until we have a majority in the House, Senate and even the Presidency, if necessary. However long it may take, we’ll vote yes when all the stars are aligned.” ~~slater.com©

TRUMP SAYS HE CAN FOOL ALL OF THE PEOPLE ALL OF THE TIME

Washington, DC March 21, 2017
“Abraham Lincoln was wrong. He said, “You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time”. But I believe I can fool all of the people all of the time because that’s not really my intention. That’s because the truth is fungible. How do we really know how many dimensions there are? Who can tell if string theory permeates speech and actions? Are we really here? Right? Maybe, but probably not. So what so-called words am I speaking or writing that can be quantified in earthly linguistics? Do you truly know how you came to be? What is existence? Is it different for you than me? Can you be the judge of what is real in my world? Should you judge me? Or anyone? So it’s not really a psychic shell game, but a sorely needed shot of non-reality which coincides with the seeming reality we all may find ourselves in. Believe me.” ~~slater.com©

TRUMP SAYS OBAMACARE BAD

Washington DC, March 12, 2017
“Obamacare is very very bad. Very bad. Sad even. Not redeemable in any way. A total mess. In a complete state of collapse. Totally over. Fortunately we will repeal and replace Obamacare with Trumpcare which will be a first class, high-end, total care plan. We will offer all kinds of healthcare packages for the American people. They will be very affordable. In fact each person will only buy what they can afford. No one and I repeat no one will be forced to buy any coverage at all. Buy whatever type of health coverage you like. If you like it buy it. Many people will go without and just roll the dice. That is their choice, right? We won’t force you to buy something that you don’t want like Obama did. You’re free now. Of course, if you buckle down, work hard, save and invest your money you can buy some of our gold and platinum packages with classy top-shelf healthcare and all the frills. That’s additional incentive to study, apply yourself and be fiscally disciplined. If not, you might need to go without or move to San Francisco and camp out near Nancy Pelosi’s house. She might fund a clinic for anyone who stops by. I’m more of a cash and carry type of guy. In any case, I always say don’t give a man a Band-Aid. Teach him how to heal a wound on his own and he’ll never have an open sore again.” ~~slater.com©