Author Archives: slater

PELOSI AS PUNCHING BAG REPUBS BEST WEAPON

Washington, DC June 22, 2017
“We love Nancy”, says House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy. “She’s the greatest at clinging to power in an ever-shrinking Democratic party. Some of us think she or maybe her husband are closet Conservatives. We just have to mention her name and votes swing our way. Democrats fear her and what she really cares about most is her big office. She loves it and won’t step aside for the sake of her party. She is our best weapon and it’s no secret. The Dems know it but they’re afraid to confront her and ease her out. As long as she’s in, we win”. ~~slater.com©

TRUMP TRIES TO TIME TWEETS

Washington, DC June 5, 2017
“When I feel a lull in coverage, I tweet. Ratings matter. I don’t care if my staff or family asks me to keep quiet. The show must go on. Nobody shuts me down. I’m the richest multi-billionaire President there ever was. That didn’t happen by accident. Timing. Timing. Some people wait for life to find them. I go and find life. I can mostly tell when to tweet or write or speak if it looks like everybody wants me to shut up. The more that I’m asked to keep a lid on it, the quicker I try to get my thoughts out to my people. Basically, I’m a contrarian. I do the opposite of the herd. Everyone says I should keep my big mouth shut so that’s my signal to lash out and spout like a harpooned whale. Recently though, I think they have caught on to my method of operating so they are using reverse psychology on me. Or at least they are trying to. Now when they tell me to speak out and tweet, I know that they don’t really want me to because they think I’ll do the opposite. But I’m on to them and I’m tweeting about people, cases before the Supreme Court, policies, intelligence, you name it. They can’t stop me and I won’t let them even try. I have the password to my twitter account and even if they take my phone away or shut it down, I can stop at any store or borrow anyones phone and release a fresh twitter storm at will. My voice which is the voice of my people will get out and be heard because I seem to know just what to say and exactly when to say it.” ~~slater.com©

TRUMP TOUTS TEUTONIC TERRITORY TREATY TORN

Washington DC May 30, 2017
“First they wouldn’t let my Grandfather back in. Now they are treating the United States with disrespect. They are trying to gas us with illegal fraudulent Volkswagen emissions tactics. Scandals with Deutsche Bank trying to steal our cash. Their corrupt money-grubbing and scheming attempts to harm us have crossed the line. I no longer think of them as I once did. Buy what you want. As for me, I’m buying American manfactured products from American owned companies like I always do”. ~~slater.com©

PENCE PREPS PEERS PRIOR TO PRESIDENTIAL ASCENSION

Naval Observatory Washington DC May 17, 2017
“I stand fully by and with the President of the United States, Mr. Donald J.Trump. There is not a beam of sunlight between us or our positions. I am fully a loyalist and will go down with the ship or whatever it takes, hopefully we will sail on successfully. However, America is bigger than any one man. If called upon, I will rise to the occasion and serve this great nation of ours with honor, dignity and truthfulness through to the letter of the law. I have asked my wife to prepare for a move downtown to Pennsylvania Avenue, not that we want to, no, but that we must in the name of all that is good, just and right with this land. For it is not what the stars say in their vast alignment but what is in our hearts as Americans and fellow travelers in this country that none of us deserve but we are blessed to be a part of. I will accept my duties with a heavy heart and a willing spirit as I know our outgoing Commander in Chief would want me to do. I will forever be grateful to President Trump for his support and I think it is fair to say, I wouldn’t be where I am without his help.” ~~slater.com©

TRUMP SELECTS ERIC TRUMP AS FBI DIRECTOR

Washington, DC May 10, 2017
“My son Eric is very tall. About 6’7″ or so. Very tall. About the same height as former FBI Director Comey. He will do a fabulous job as Director. I wanted a fresh face. Someone from outside the agency to shake things up. Really place a new spin on the whole thing. Reset the priorities. Move the ball down field and reach our goals. I told him son, leave the past in the past. Focus on the future. With that in mind I’ve asked him to close the books on old and tired investigations. While everyone else is squinting to look in the rear view mirror I told him to ignore their cries for justice for past sins and begin anew. As far as me and the new Director are concerned today is the first day of the rest of our administration”. ~~slater.com

PUTIN TELLS TRUMP COMEY’S GETTING CLOSE

Washington, DC May 10, 2017
“I didn’t fire Comey because Vlad told me he’s on to us. There’s nothing for him to find anyway. I’m my own man. Everyone knows that. Decisions made by me are my own. Period. Vlad didn’t care if Comey was still the FBI Director when Sergey Lavrov arrived in DC today. I just thought that it would be a nice gesture. I mean I was planning to let him go anyway, so why not get some additional mileage out of it by having it timed for Sergey’s visit today. Kill two birds with one stone, so to speak”. ~~slater.com

TRUMP SAYS HE’S NOT STANDING BY ANYTHING

Washington, DC May 1, 2017
Interviewed by John Dickerson over the weekend President Trump finally admitted, “I don’t stand by anything.” We caught up with the President to see if we could get some clarification. Mr. President with all due respect, sir, you didn’t really mean that you don’t stand by anything, do you? “Yeah, actually I’m the one person here in Washington who does mean what they say. You watched the interview and I stand by my comments, each and every one.” But Mr. President, the key controversial statement that you made was that you don’t stand by anything, now you say that you do stand by your comments. “That’s right, I stand by my comment that I don’t stand by anything. But anything has different meanings to different people. Remember, citizens in this great country of ours are diverse. Not just in their appearance but in their views, education and life experiences. I am speaking to them, my American people. They deserve straight talk and I’m the one who’s gonna let them have it”. But, sir, how can you equate straight talk with not standing by anything you say? I mean you said that on tape for all to see on CBS. “Maybe they edited the tape in some way to make me look bad, that’s the fake news for you. I was just in Harrisburg with my folks and they don’t think much of the news either. I bet a lot of them wouldn’t stand by it. I don’t think we should stand for it either, do you?” Sir well, that’s not really for me to say. “Sure it is, you’re an American, right? You have the right to free speech. But remember that freedom isn’t free. I’m asking other countries to pony up right now by the way. No more free rides on old Uncle Sams back. No more freeloading. You wanna sit on my couch all day, you’d best have settled the bill with the front desk. Am I right?” Well sir, I, I don’t really know. But what about the fact that you stated on the record that you simply don’t stand for anything? “Well son, just because I seemed to say it, don’t make it true now does it?” ~~slater.com©

TRUMP SAYS NEW NAVAL CLOAKING DEVICE HUGE ADVANTAGE

Washington DC April 20, 2017
“We invented the flip phone, iPads and other technology from Star Trek futuristic props. It should be no surprise that we have adapted Romulan cloaking technology to our large naval vessels. Initially it was easy to cloak small boats and drones. I am told that we used certain proprietary light-reflective surface technology with advanced holographic mirroring techniques that cause both the human eye and radar/sonar to bypass our covered objects as if they were not there. We got some help from David Copperfield as well. Who said there are no patriotic magicians? The breakthrough came when we were able to boost the signal strength and cover larger areas. We not only hide objects that we choose but we replace the space they occupy with other projected images. Using a satellite-mounted laser delivery system we can keep the illusion steady and move it with exact precision through GPS. We can also just show the ocean. It’s really like bypassing a CCTV camera and replacing it with a loop of a clear hallway like you see in so many movies. We just do it in real life and in real time. Just between us, our internal code name is Ghost Ship. I have asked DARPA to begin to adapt this technology to mobile human forms asap. I’d like to move around without my entourage from time to time. Once we get this fine tuned, I could be in Mar-a-lago or on the golf course and you will believe I am in the White House. Gotta keep ’em guessing and off-balance, right? But look, everyone knows the element of surprise works well during military operations. I still get a kick out of thinking about our enemies lookouts with their binoculars saying “alls well”…. while our giant ships are sitting right off their coast”. ~~slater.com©

UNITED AIRLINES SAYS THEY WILL RENEW CUSTOMER FOCUS

Chicago, Illinois April 14, 2017
“We may have been a little overzealous with our passenger removal protocols. The video does not tell the whole story though. Where are the feel-good videos showing our flight attendants handing out pillows and slippers? That is never online, I noticed. Only the most outrageous out of context situations are captured. Was he really a doctor? Could he prove he had patients appointments back home? If he did, were they really so critical that he must personally attend or could someone else handle it? These are the questions we need answers to and quick. You have my word, this investigation is not over. We’ll continue to make our side of the argument and keep this issue alive as long as it takes no matter how low our stock goes or our moral sinks. Just on principal alone we must stay the course regardless of the outcome. Boycott us or not, we could care less. We don’t own much of this operation anyway. It belongs to the stockholders and almost none of them work here. If United goes the way of TWA or Eastern Airlines, who cares? A different airline will pick up the routes and we’ll just all get jobs there. Meanwhile, do what we say or I think you know the consequences”. ~~slater.com©

RUSSIA SAYS NYET

Moscow April 2, 2017
“No, we did not elect or help to elect your President Trump. We have enough to do here in our country. Many ills to fight and many challenges at home. As expert chess players if we wanted to make moves around your manbaby leader it would be how you say piece of cake. We could do it, of course, but it is not in our interest to run your country and ours simultaneously. We need to focus on our energy business and social programs and such. Why don’t you get your health care fixed? Are we interfering? Why don’t you get your roads, bridges, airports, tunnels, trains, electric grids, power plants, air traffic control, dams, cyber platforms and all other infrastructure repaired or upgraded? Is Big Bad Russian wolf stopping you? Why don’t you get your tax system reformed so your country will regain its competitiveness and your companies will stop hiding their profits offshore? How exactly are we preventing that? Why don’t you decide on your immigration policy? Do what you want. Are we hindering your decision-making abilities? We could care less who you choose to let in or keep out. While it is true that both our countries have been engaging in spying activities and disinformation campaigns for all of this century and most of the last, could it be comrades, that your government and press like to spar over inflammatory topics that inspire a nationalist spirit in your country to sell your news and to keep the peoples attention off of the real issues that affect them right now and will affect their children in the future? If so, then your misdirection is working and you can continue to point your finger and weapons at us. But we are not fooled. Not Nyet anyway”. ~~slater.com©