Category Archives: New York NY

TRUMP TELLS UN THINGS ARE GONNA CHANGE AROUND HERE

New York, NY September 18, 2017
“I ain’t messing around with you people. This place is nothing but a two bit antiquated hole in the wall. First, I never liked the green marble tiles behind the speakers podium. It looks like a cheap Queens bathroom. This is supposed to be an honored place for the leaders of the world like me? Forget about it. We need a full backlit slab of something nice. Image, people. Image. I’m embarrassed by this whole place. We can do better. But we’re gonna need some greenbacks from you people. Some dinero, moola or whatever it is you call money where you’re from. Just pay your dues for a change, will ya? Jawboning and complaining 24/7 but I don’t see you getting stuff done. It’s time to get off your duffs and produce. I want to see solid action, activities and progress. Not more coffee klatches and bureaucratic mumbo jumbo. Before I leave give me something, anything that says you guys are the least bit competent. Because, if not, I’ll turn this car around and take you all back home – I mean it.” ~~slater.com©

TRUMP SAYS HILLARY MAY HAVE ATTENDED MEETING WITH JR.

New York, NY July 14, 2017
“Was Hillary at the meeting? It wouldn’t surprise me. Her husband was impeached. She lost the election. What wouldn’t she do? Who knows? Were these friends of hers who barged into my sons private office? Were the emails real? What’s fake and what’s real? Ask Hillary cause I don’t know anymore. Is it my sons fault that the Clintons always seem to be in the middle of the action? No. We’re just private business people. They’re the politicians. Let’s drain the swamp. If the Clintons set up my son by sending over their Russian friends to bring us down that info will come out, believe me. My kids are good kids and they follow the law. Do the Clintons? It’s important that we keep everything clean, clear and simple so we can follow the facts wherever they lead. I hope the investigators keep Whitewater in mind cause there seem to be a lot of similarities to this case. I wonder who is behind all of this, the Clintons? Or is it just more fake news? Whether or not we find out, I’ll keep working hard on all the important issues facing our country, at least that much is clear.” ~~slater.com©

TRUMP BANISHES PRESS TO DISTANT AUDITORIUM

New York, NY January 16, 2017
“I really didn’t want to do it. The press is very important to me. Very important. But the space constraints in the White House briefing room have become intolerable. We cannot treat our cherished guardians of the freedom of the press to such horrendously cramped and outdated facilities. Therefore I have instructed my staff to begin to design a much larger space somewhere on the White House grounds. This new space will hold ten times more press than that tiny old location. More press, not less and more is better, I think you’ll agree. While they will no longer be in the very same building as me when I am sworn in on Friday, I can assure you that I will grant them access to me and my staff as needed, you can count on that. Some of you may know that President Nixon covered up the White House pool which is located directly beneath the current Press Briefing Room. I will remove the floor of the press room and restore the pool to it’s original splendor. Additionally, this is not like the old days, I’d strongly advise the press to refocus its considerable energies on my burgeoning twitter feed where anything they may wish to know is prominently displayed for all to see”. ~slater.com©

TRUMP TELLS CHINA TO KEEP SEA DRONE

December 19, 2016 New York, NY
“They can just keep it. We don’t want it back. You stole it. You keep it. You’ve been stealing all of our intellectual property for years now, so it’s kind of a relief to actually be able to see the theft on video. You know what I mean? All this virtual theft and cyberspace robbery is just so much vapor. I’ve been watching reruns of the sea drone caper in a running loop for several hours now. I’m mesmerized by their brazen and blatant taking of our property. Well, it’s on film now, so there’s no denying it. You did it and we caught you. Guilty as far as I’m concerned. Case closed. When I’m in office, those types of things won’t be tolerated, no – taking my property is generally not known to be a good idea. No it isn’t. I’m thinking of telling the kids to yank my name off all those buildings in China that rent our brand. That’d show ’em we mean business. But I can’t get involved in those types of decisions because the press always writes about conflict of interest. So I don’t know if the kids will do that but if I was still in charge of the company, I’d pull out of there so fast their head would swim.” ~~slater.com©

TRUMP SAYS HE’LL CALL WHO HE WANTS WHEN HE WANTS

New York, NY December 4, 2016
“I was elected to use my judgement. My judgement. Not the judgement of the swampy political elite in the State Department. I took a look at the state of the world and quite frankly, I’m not that impressed. Should I really call the people who got us here? Is there anyone in the world who is more successful than me? Has anyone in the world ever become President without being a General or holding previous elected office? Has anyone ever been as financially successful as me? I’m the single most successful person in the history of the world, so far, and there should be at least a little credit thrown my way. But no, the media only throws shade. Sad! Look folks, get used to my making calls and answering the phone when I get a call. Businessmen answer their phones. They do deals. They make things happen. I’m not going to call my diplomatic handler every time I get an idea. I’m an entrepreneur. I’m free and I like to speak my mind. I’m bringing freedom to the Oval Office and things are gonna swing in our direction for a change. I’ll call who I want when I want and speak about whatever. Get used to it.” ~slater.com©

TRUMP SETS FIRST PRIORITY

New York, NY November 13, 2016
“I want to let everyone know that I will investigate personally all of the urban myths and legends surrounding our government. Now that I, one of the people, is in command of the nation you can count on me to learn the truth. I will pass along my findings to you my brothers and sisters at my first opportunity. I have already advised the commanding officer of Fort Knox that I will personally be visiting Kentucky next week for a tour of the gold bullion depository. I will put to rest once and for all whether or not the gold is still there. I will inspect all of the gold if any is left. We will drill through a number of the bars to determine if they have been replaced with gold plated bricks. I’ll make sure there’s no gold bricking going on there you can count on that. I’m bringing some of my top security guys with me and if we determine that it is not properly protected we will have all of the gold moved to the fully lined treasure vaults below Trump Tower for safe keeping. The foundation of the tower is ensconced in natural bedrock formations that are impossible to penetrate without blasting which would alert my team of any attempt to move the gold. Rest assured the US gold reserves will be safe in my hands. We will save plenty of money on payroll and finally we won’t need to worry whether the gold is still safe because I have 10 billion dollars and don’t need any more money. I’ve got plenty, believe me. When I am no longer your President, the new President can opt to take the gold or leave it safe and sound with me”. —slater.com©

TRUMP AND CLINTON AGREE TO MARRIAGE OF CONVENIENCE

New York,NY November 7, 2016
In a surprise move, Donald J. Trump and Hillary Rodham Clinton today announced that they would divorce their current spouses and become man and wife. “It’s been on a slow boil for a while now”, Hillary said. “Yeah, she’s not really my type, but I’m going to the White House, one way or another. I always find an angle. I had some trouble convincing Melania but I understand that Bill was all in from the get go”, Trump remarked. “He’s not really so bad once you get to know him. The important thing is that we bring the country together”, said Hillary. “And we both think that Republican Abraham Lincoln said it best about 150 years ago”:

“With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation’s wounds, to care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan, to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations.”

—slater.com©

TRUMP SAYS I’M STAYING ALL IN

New York, NY October 9, 2016
“I’m not sure if the tape was doctored or what, but I don’t exactly remember saying all of that. I might have had a minor type of similar conversation with Billy Bush, but it was so long ago maybe the Clintons fixed up the tape to make me look bad, I really don’t know. What I do know is that Bill Cosby is on trial here not me, right? So if the evidence were so strong that something illegal happened, then why aren’t I in jail? Think about it. He’s out roaming the streets with his medication doing who knows what while the media focus’s on me. Is it Bill Cosby or Bill Clinton? I don’t know. What I do know is that some women are very hot. Should I keep that a secret? I don’t think so. Besides, get over yourselves. I’ve said and done a lot worse before this came out that everybody already knows about. Why this? Why now? Media bias, right? Just wear your red hats and vote for me and let my private conversations stay private. After all, what about the 1st and 2nd amendments? Think about that. Do we need more amendments to protect my right to speak with a member of the Bush family in a private bus, just us two? Can you get a little privacy here in the states? I’m not sure anymore, right? It seems a little coincidental that a relative of Jeb’s is trying to bring me down with a little tape. Bushes in the White House. Bushes in the media. What’s up with that? Seems a little fishy to me. Y’know Snowden’s in Russia where he can speak freely about stuff. Ironic right? Hillary blasts my friend Vladimir but he lets an American speak his mind. What about my rights? Do I have to go to Russia to say what I feel? I hope not. I hope that America is still a place I can call home. Women are driving this issue. I don’t have a problem with them. They have a problem with me. I’m an open book. What are they thinking? I don’t want their votes anyway. They can stay home for all I care. If they don’t like that kind of talk, vote for someone else. I’ve got to be me. I’ve got to be free to express myself. You finally have a chance to vote for a President that revealed the skeletons in his closet before election day, not after. I’m not dropping out. I’m not a quitter. Don’t miss your chance to bring some reality to DC.” —slater.com©

TRUMP SAYS DON’T ENTER MY BEAUTY CONTESTS IF YOU CAN’T MEET MY STANDARDS

New York, NY September 29, 2016
“It makes sense. I set the standards for beauty in contests that I own and run. If you don’t meet my standards don’t go crying to the press about it. Maybe you should just stop stuffing Dunkin Donuts down your piehole for a minute. I mean take a break honey. Give it a rest. You’re gonna wear out your choppers. Get a hobby, but don’t make it cooking, OK? Look, I’m as sensitive as the next guy, but this Miss Universe is spending her time complaining about things she said I told her years ago, please. I’m a businessman and her weight gain caused me to loose a few bucks so I told her to shape up or ship out. You think I invented shape up or ship out, huh? No, it’s been around for a long time. Get with the program honey. I like my models thin and thiner. Get it? Not dumb and dumber like you. I love women, but this is the beauty business. If you can’t stand the heat get back in the kitchen where you can be barefoot and pregnant for all I care, just not with my kid cause you have weight issues Miss Universe and I don’t put up with imperfection in the Trump family or any of our subsidiary organizations. Now don’t cry about it dear, there’s always next year at the Coney Island hot dog eating contest. You could partner with the 400 pound hacker I mentioned at the debate. I think you could do well as a team. As President I would have many new concepts for constructive citizenry including height and weight protocols. I believe strongly in eugenics and intend to apply Federal mandates for acceptable male and female appearance standardization”. —slater.com©

TRUMP SAYS I WON DEBATE AND MY MIKE WAS BROKEN

New York, NY September 27, 2016
“I won. I always win. Nothing new. Winners win. This debate was no different. Even with a bad mike, there really is no debate about it. Just about everyone on the internet says I’m the most interesting, exciting personality around. All the media is infatuated with me. I’m afraid to be alone with them. They give me the creeps, they’re so in love with everything I say and everything I do. Besides, I’m making them too much money by boosting their ratings through the roof. I can play them like a fiddle anyway. I can call a press conference, stop by a show or just call anyone at anytime and command attention. That’s leadership. Y’know leadership is not always doing something or having a plan. Sometimes it’s just leading. Leadership, don’t under rate it. I have it and I use it. No one else does, so follow me or I’ll remove you. Not like Hitler. I don’t want to kill anyone, but if you disagree with me like Hillary does, then you disagree with America and you need to leave. I don’t care where you go, just get out. Not just illegals, but Rosie O’Donnell and everyone else that is anti-me.” —slater.com©