Tag Archives: google

APPLE AGREES TO LICENSE ANDROID FOR IPHONE

Cupertino, Ca. December 27, 2016
In a surprise move today, Apple announced that they would begin to license Alphabets’s Android operating system for the iPhone. Tim Cook introduced the new iPhone with dual ios and android operating systems at a press conference outside the new Apple headquarters. “It really makes sense to do this right now. We offer the windows operating system on our macs, so we are always in a co-opetition mode with our frenemies. It was really only a matter of time so we thought we’d like to go into 2017 with the wind at our back. Now on your iPhone you can opt to utilize the superior features of either system. At this point only the iPhone can run everything. Download any app to the iPhone even if development has only been completed in one operating system. Simple, easy, embracing change and inclusive. It’s pure Apple and only from us”. ~slater.com©

GOOGLE AGREES TO SELL SEARCH BUSINESS TO YAHOO

Mountain View, CA. October 6, 2016
“The valley is about constant innovation and reinvention. If we just rest on our laurels we’ll only get as far as we’ve already been and no further. We want to step boldly into the future. To do that we sometimes need to make painful decisions. This was one of them. It really all started with search. Search brought us to the party. But it’s becoming a commodity. You can find whatever you need on ask, bing, duckduckgo, or dogpile. The delta between us and them has been shrinking and historically so do the margins. Once a product goes generic, it’s time to move on. Let yahoo add our distinctiveness to their own and a superior product should emerge. We will retain a non-material equity position in Verizon who is scheduled to aquire yahoo in the future. We plan to reinvest the proceeds in flying cars, balloon internet delivery platforms and life extension research.” —slater.com©

GOOGLE DENIES MARISSA MAYER A PLANT TO DESTROY YAHOO

Mountain View, CA. February 9, 2016
Alphabet subsidiary Google today defended itself against rumors that former Google Exec Marrisa Mayer was offered to Yahoo as a method of taking down one of their largest competitors. “We didn’t do that”, said Google spokesperson Sven Searcharsky. “And we wouldn’t do anything like that. Sergey offered her solid advice prior to her departure and we cannot be held responsible beyond that. We want a vibrant competitive marketplace where inovation and fairness rule the day. We don’t plot and plan Yahoo’s destruction. We press on with our own strategy and if we just happen to strike a cord in the marketplace we’ll gain share. We didn’t twist their arm to take her anyway. Right now we seem to be hitting all the right notes with our businesses. Believe it or not we’d like a stronger Yahoo to help keep regulators off our back. Yes, we expect to win but there’s a pretty big pie out there and even 20 or 30% of it could make a nice business for our competition. I mean we’ll compete for their share if they’re just going to walk away and become a holding company for Alibaba stock. But our attitude has always been do your best, don’t be evil and let the chips fall where they may. All of the conspiracy theories we read about are pure fiction and would be best purchased from Amazon not printed in the paper or distributed online. Besides who’s to say that Verizon, the phone company who bought AOL won’t do a great job if they aquire Yahoo? I mean finally AOL and Yahoo would conclude their dance and merge perhaps creating all kinds of promised synergies that will save millions, right? Don’t always look to us as the cause of other companies problems. AOL was smoothly absorbed into Verizon recently so who’s to say that if Yahoo also becomes a part of Verizon’s burgeoning media and telephony conglomerate that technical clarity, visibility and clean simple code won’t be the outcome? Everyone wins.” —slater.com©

GOOGLE PARENT ALPHABET NOW MORE VALUABLE THAN APPLE

Mountain View, CA February 1, 2016
Sven Searcharsky of Google announced today that they beat their top and bottom line numbers. “We’re rockin and rollin here. I tell you the wheels gonna come off this baby. Yeah! Man I know that’s not corp speak but we are charged up here like never before. We got the world in the palm of our hands and our digits are electrified. OK, so you want some business-like talk. Here we go. First we want to thank Apple, Inc. for leading and guiding us through this. Without their help, I’m not sure we could have got to this point so fast. We have been closely observing their actions and have modeled our future almost entirely on what we have witnessed. We watch them intently and set our strategy almost in direct opposition to each of their moves. It’s like they have created a playbook on how to destroy value so we look to play the other side of their bet. We knew they were effectively shutting themselves out of the game when they agreed to meet with Carl Icahn at his apartment for dinner to discuss financial engineering. Even though Carl owned a tiny bit of the company, perhaps 1% or less, he was successful at getting the Board to see things his way and borrow what is now a 61 Billion dollar debt load and send that money to shareholders. An extraordinarily short-term strategy. Not illegal. Not even immoral. Just short-term and not tech-friendly. Iterating in the tech word occurs in nanoseconds globally. Dividends don’t get paid out -ever. The value is in buying companies, talent and massive R & D budgets. Discovering, creating and iterating constantly and consistently. We watched as Apple focused on “return of capital”. We knew right then and there that we would do the opposite. Our weapon against Apple was the utter failure to recognize that their weakness was their focus on share price and dividends. Tim Cook actually called in to Jim Cramers show to discuss specifics! Tim can’t believe how undervalued Apple stock is. He can’t believe it and he called into a cable show to discuss it. The reason it’s undervalued is because the President of Apple is on the phone with Jim Cramer and not focused on the future of the company – he’s more worried about the daily stock chart! What? We used this time to double down and reinvest in our portfolio of companies including Google. Apple has been resting on their pile of cash, handing out dividends and watching their share price drop like an iPhone down the toilet. Messy, wet, not functioning properly but not quite out. No, they’re not out. We need them to stay in so we can have clear direction about what not to do. Can you imagine in your wildest dreams Steve Jobs bowing to shareholder demands and issuing dividends on borrowed money or any money for that matter? Steve was product and company focused and let the stock chips fall where they may. Now Apple wants to be liked by Wall Street. Isn’t that nice? So they do what they want. Ironically Wall Street will ultimately like us better because they always gravitate to the winner and as of today that’d be us.” —slater.com©