Tag Archives: Hillary Clinton

TRUMP SAYS HE ISN’T LYING JUST SPITBALLING

Phoenix, AZ August 23, 2017
“I don’t lie and I never have. Was it George Washington or Abraham Lincoln who didn’t chop down the cherry tree? I don’t know. But I know I didn’t do it. I like cherries but you won’t find me lying about them like other Presidents have. Did the media ever lie? I’ll let you figure that out. I tell the truth as I see it. How can you argue with that? You can’t, I always win. Always. No one’s bigger. No one’s badder. I’m the king. I mean I don’t really think I’m the king or anything but I’m the top of the heap, that’s for sure, right? The people at my rallies love me. I’ll keep doing rallies to keep my head on straight. I eat applause and cheering. I can riff for hours about all the past glories. Have I told you the one about beating Hillary? She’s guilty not me, that I can tell you. I got a lot more votes than her if you count the other one’s I’m talking about, believe me. A lot more. I win and I win big. Build the wall.” ~~slater.com©

TRUMP SAYS RUSSIAN ATTORNEY WAS HILLARY IN DISGUISE

Washington DC July 16, 2017
“I knew it. I’ve just been told that facial recognition software will prove that the so-called Russian Government Lawyer was none other than Hillary Clinton in disguise. That explains a lot. My boy was duped by the Clinton gang from Little Rock. Those country bumpkins may have outsmarted us city slickers for now but we’re not done for yet. I’ll back up my little boy Jr. all the way till the end. You can count on that. The Clinton machine may be after him but we’ve got some pull as well. I thought all this was a hoax and part of the fake news conspiracy but it turns out that as usual when you look behind the curtain it’s just little Bill and Hillary up to their old tricks with their Russian friends. So my boy is now in the clear and the Attorney General can refocus the attention of the entire Department of Justice where it belongs. And that’s off of us and squarely on the Clintons.” ~~slater.com©

TRUMP SAYS HILLARY MAY HAVE ATTENDED MEETING WITH JR.

New York, NY July 14, 2017
“Was Hillary at the meeting? It wouldn’t surprise me. Her husband was impeached. She lost the election. What wouldn’t she do? Who knows? Were these friends of hers who barged into my sons private office? Were the emails real? What’s fake and what’s real? Ask Hillary cause I don’t know anymore. Is it my sons fault that the Clintons always seem to be in the middle of the action? No. We’re just private business people. They’re the politicians. Let’s drain the swamp. If the Clintons set up my son by sending over their Russian friends to bring us down that info will come out, believe me. My kids are good kids and they follow the law. Do the Clintons? It’s important that we keep everything clean, clear and simple so we can follow the facts wherever they lead. I hope the investigators keep Whitewater in mind cause there seem to be a lot of similarities to this case. I wonder who is behind all of this, the Clintons? Or is it just more fake news? Whether or not we find out, I’ll keep working hard on all the important issues facing our country, at least that much is clear.” ~~slater.com©

HILLARY SAYS TO FRY FLYNN

February 15, 2017 Chappaqua, NY
“He wanted to lock me up for calling the Geek Squad at Best Buy to install my home server. Last time I checked the penalty for Treason is death. Did he maintain a non-secure communications device while at the Pentagon against the strict code? Did he communicate American secrets to foreign officials including Russia? What did the President know and when did he know it? Were they chanting lock her up during these purported criminal activities? Reminds me of the same plot used on old TV shows where the criminals call in a fake crime spree to the cops and then pull off their own heist. Distraction? Diversion? Or just plain clown car antics? Seems as if my investigation-loving Republican friends aren’t really in the mood to find out. Stay in your shells boys. If you come out, we may just have a few questions for you.” ~~slater.com©

TRUMP AND CLINTON AGREE TO MARRIAGE OF CONVENIENCE

New York,NY November 7, 2016
In a surprise move, Donald J. Trump and Hillary Rodham Clinton today announced that they would divorce their current spouses and become man and wife. “It’s been on a slow boil for a while now”, Hillary said. “Yeah, she’s not really my type, but I’m going to the White House, one way or another. I always find an angle. I had some trouble convincing Melania but I understand that Bill was all in from the get go”, Trump remarked. “He’s not really so bad once you get to know him. The important thing is that we bring the country together”, said Hillary. “And we both think that Republican Abraham Lincoln said it best about 150 years ago”:

“With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation’s wounds, to care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan, to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations.”

—slater.com©

AMERICANS BRACING FOR THE FIRST HALLOWEEN WHERE BOTH PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES ARE NOW SCARIER THAN ANY MASK

Washington, DC October 30, 2015
“I wouldn’t let my kids watch the debates. They were cartoonishly uncivilized” said Melody from Tampa. “My kids asked me if the people on TV are actors working for Saturday Night Live. I’m voting for one of them, but either choice is too embarrassing to mention.” said Joe from Bismarck. “We have hundreds of millions of people, many ethical, trustworthy and bright and these two are what we have to pick from in 9 days?” said Fran from Milwaukee. I told my son it’s very important to vote, but I can’t tell him which one I’m voting for as they both have breeched the ethical divide so often, it would give him a bad impression of separating wrong from right.” said Tommy from Jasper. “I’m glad human lifespans are so short. Just 50 or 60 New Years parties from now, a huge number of everyone alive today will be gone. Hopefully future generations will act responsibly and put forth qualified candidates for Leader of the Free World.” said George from Troy. —slater.com©

TRUMP SAYS I’M STAYING ALL IN

New York, NY October 9, 2016
“I’m not sure if the tape was doctored or what, but I don’t exactly remember saying all of that. I might have had a minor type of similar conversation with Billy Bush, but it was so long ago maybe the Clintons fixed up the tape to make me look bad, I really don’t know. What I do know is that Bill Cosby is on trial here not me, right? So if the evidence were so strong that something illegal happened, then why aren’t I in jail? Think about it. He’s out roaming the streets with his medication doing who knows what while the media focus’s on me. Is it Bill Cosby or Bill Clinton? I don’t know. What I do know is that some women are very hot. Should I keep that a secret? I don’t think so. Besides, get over yourselves. I’ve said and done a lot worse before this came out that everybody already knows about. Why this? Why now? Media bias, right? Just wear your red hats and vote for me and let my private conversations stay private. After all, what about the 1st and 2nd amendments? Think about that. Do we need more amendments to protect my right to speak with a member of the Bush family in a private bus, just us two? Can you get a little privacy here in the states? I’m not sure anymore, right? It seems a little coincidental that a relative of Jeb’s is trying to bring me down with a little tape. Bushes in the White House. Bushes in the media. What’s up with that? Seems a little fishy to me. Y’know Snowden’s in Russia where he can speak freely about stuff. Ironic right? Hillary blasts my friend Vladimir but he lets an American speak his mind. What about my rights? Do I have to go to Russia to say what I feel? I hope not. I hope that America is still a place I can call home. Women are driving this issue. I don’t have a problem with them. They have a problem with me. I’m an open book. What are they thinking? I don’t want their votes anyway. They can stay home for all I care. If they don’t like that kind of talk, vote for someone else. I’ve got to be me. I’ve got to be free to express myself. You finally have a chance to vote for a President that revealed the skeletons in his closet before election day, not after. I’m not dropping out. I’m not a quitter. Don’t miss your chance to bring some reality to DC.” —slater.com©

TRUMP SAYS I WON DEBATE AND MY MIKE WAS BROKEN

New York, NY September 27, 2016
“I won. I always win. Nothing new. Winners win. This debate was no different. Even with a bad mike, there really is no debate about it. Just about everyone on the internet says I’m the most interesting, exciting personality around. All the media is infatuated with me. I’m afraid to be alone with them. They give me the creeps, they’re so in love with everything I say and everything I do. Besides, I’m making them too much money by boosting their ratings through the roof. I can play them like a fiddle anyway. I can call a press conference, stop by a show or just call anyone at anytime and command attention. That’s leadership. Y’know leadership is not always doing something or having a plan. Sometimes it’s just leading. Leadership, don’t under rate it. I have it and I use it. No one else does, so follow me or I’ll remove you. Not like Hitler. I don’t want to kill anyone, but if you disagree with me like Hillary does, then you disagree with America and you need to leave. I don’t care where you go, just get out. Not just illegals, but Rosie O’Donnell and everyone else that is anti-me.” —slater.com©

TRUMP DENIES SCATTERSHOT APPROACH

Detroit, MI September 4, 2016
“No, I have been and will remain totally focused. Being me doesn’t mean being anyone else. It means that I will project my insides outward for an aura of total honesty and trustworthiness. I completely deny that I want to be everything to everyone. Although as a salesman it is tempting to satisfy your audience and make the sale. I have been known to close a deal or two and then revert to my original plan. But let me tell you this, if my original plan was good then who cares. I mean what has anybody got to lose anyway? I’m me and I can get it done. You know it and I know it. Getting it done overrides following any game plan that may have been created by something that I might have said. Remember, I said it – so who would know what I meant better than me? And if I change my mind? Do you believe that only a lady can do that? That’s sexism. Rampant sexism and I won’t stand for it. Look however it turns out, don’t rely on some dopey speech I may have given or some plan you read about. Instead look for me to move the ball down the field and score the goal. Stop nitpicking about me saying one thing to one group and something else to another. In the end, if you elect me, you already know that I’ll do whatever I want whenever I want to. It’s less about a scattershot approach and more about winning. The ends justify the means, right? If you agree with me, vote for me and then let me worry about it.” —slater.com©

TRUMP NOW SAYS THEY CAN STAY

New York, NY August 25, 2016
“I never said I was going to round them up and toss them out. Of course they can stay. We’ve got plenty of room here. All are welcome. What I did say was the bad ones will most probably need to think about leaving. Maybe not right away, but at some point. Remember these people are robbers and rapists and such. But not all of them. Some I suppose are nice people. People who need people. We’re good people and we like other good people. People are people so take care of your brother, people. Now some people say I’m flip-flopping, but as usual they are dead wrong. I’m not a squishy do-nothing kowtower like career politicians. I’m a do something get it done expert. Get ’em out of here I say and I don’t give a rats you know what whether or not they have a job or a family. Just get ’em the heck out of our country. We’re taking it back and quickly, believe me. I don’t need no one to make this happen. I’m known for getting things done. I don’t need any foreigners to muck up the works. That’s why I like the blacks. They can stay. They were here before my family so they can stay. But the line in the sand will be the date my grandfather came to America. Everyone who was here before him can stay, everyone else must be out by sundown March 30, 2017. I’ll give ’em 90 days from my coronation in January 2017. I don’t need Obama handing me the keys that day. He can high-tail it out of town with the rest of ’em. I’m changing the locks anyway. Get ready people, we’re gonna need to put our nose to the grindstone. Without the illegals to do the dirty work, somebody’s gonna need to step up. I’d do it of course. I’m known for my hard work in the field. I’m the blue collar billionaire so I’ve got my pick-up and my 6 pack and my coleman and I’m out on the lake or deep in the woods on the weekends let me tell you boy. Yep, I’m wearin a red kerchief around my neck and a whoopin and a hollerin my way down the trail every chance I get. But as your President I’m not gonna be able to be out there with you, but the works gotta get done, right? So after we get these foreigners out a here you guys will need to pick up the slack. But at least they’ll be gone and we’ll have our country back. It’s been a long road lettin ’em in here to stomp all over our laws and our constitution. But the jig is up. Goodbye illegals. Now a lot of ’em can stay though. I mean don’t get all riled up if you got a family, I think we can probably work with you. If you have a job or a business maybe you can pay us some dinero to you know grease the skids. Look I know how to negotiate these deals and I’ll have the final say on who stays or goes. We’ll work something out. But this is rock solid, no changes – write it in the book cause it’s good as done, period. My word is my bond. Remember even if you leave whether we toss you out or you go voluntarily, there will be a path back. I mean it’s my hope that some will stay and some will leave and all will re-unite back in the USA at the appropriate time for a celebration of unity no matter where you were born or what you believe. All men were created equal and as President I’ll make sure that no man, woman or child is more equal then any other unless there are some sort of special circumstances.” —slater.com©