Tag Archives: President Trump

TRUMP TWITTERS TOODALOO TO TILLERSON

Washington DC March 13, 2018
“Told Tillerson to take time to travel throughout Texas. Didn’t have time to meet with him in person. I would have liked to point at him and do the whole bit but I am the President. Gotta stay on schedule. Anyway he’s out along with a few other people. I’m just fine tuning this machine. We’re almost there. When I saw the ratings on the Bachelor, I knew I would have to make some dramatic moves.” ~~slater.com©

TRUMP TELLS EVERYONE TO CHILL OVER TRADE WAR

Washington, DC March 7, 2018
“Look rubes, just relax. You’re focusing too much on what I say. There is no connection between the words that exit my mouth and any actions that I might or might not take. I’m a micro-visionary. My world is what is happening right now. I give no thought to the future. None at all. So if you hear me say something about tariffs or anything else, it is only that moment I am referring to. Not the future. When we get to the future I’ll have more to say.” ~~slater.com©

TRUMP ORDERS MASSIVE MILITARY PARADE IN DC

Washington DC February 7, 2018
“I will show the world who can roll tanks down a street the best. The best, us. More tanks, more flags, more guns, more ammo, more cammo, you can’t keep up world, you won’t keep up with me militarily. I may not have been in the armed forces but nobody loves him a pageant more than I do. And I don’t see any reason to exclude the ladies from this show of force. They’re strong and tough, our girls. Yes they are. I’ve asked Ivanka to lead the parade dressed similarly to the statue of liberty but holding a gatling gun instead of a torch. Beautiful. Sorry, she’s taken boys. And there’ll be guns, oh lots of guns. I’ll be in my reviewing stand, looking down on the troops. I will work closely with the Pentagon for weeks if necessary to make sure the color combinations accentuate the DC light just right from every angle. Details, that’s what I’m known for, studying the little things and making sure I get everything just right. And I can’t think of anything more important to me right now than a big parade in honor of my first year in charge.” ~~slater.com©

TRUMP DENIES REPORTED HARSH COMMENTS

Washington, DC January 14, 2018
“So no, I didn’t exactly say what was reported in the fake news. I wouldn’t say such things and they know it. I have many friends and maybe even some relatives from those places, check into it and you’ll see. I was mostly concerned with Kenya because of the fraud and cover-up of Obamas birthplace. That’s what should be investigated, not me. How come he can pretend to be from here when everyone knows he was born over there? If there’s an Africa story to be reported it starts in Kenya with Obamas Brother and Aunt. And I heard that people involved in the Public Warning texting incident yesterday in Hawaii may very well have been Obama appointees or had some kind of connection to him. Coincidence?” ~~slater.com©

TRUMP TELLS DACA KIDS TO STAY TUNED

Washington, DC January 11, 2018
“I may just find a way to keep these beautiful kids here in the US. I might. I just might. Of course my base wants them to go. So it’s really a quandary. But not for me. I stay either way. They go. They stay. It’s really up in the air right now, isn’t it? Looks like this’ll be real good for the ratings especially when children are being evicted from the only home they’ve ever known. I couldn’t have asked my writers for a more suspenseful script. What will I do? Who’ll stay and who’ll go? This episode is going to kill it during sweeps week. You’ll just have to sit on the edge of your seats biting your nails until I decide.” ~~slater.com©

TRUMP TELLS FEINSTEIN KEEP SENSITIVE INFORMATION PRIVATE

Washington, DC January 10, 2018
“I just think it was unprofessional of Senator Feinstein to release private information. If you are going to be in government, you’ve got to know when to keep your mouth shut. I always say loose lips sink ships.” ~~slater.com©

TRUMP SAYS LET THE KIDS PAY FOR THE TAX CUTS

Washington, DC December 20, 2017
“The kids didn’t build this country, we did. If this tax reduction bill increases the national debt by 1.5 Trillion dollars, so what. They should just consider it a past due invoice for services rendered. Someones got to pick up the check and it ain’t gonna be me.” ~~slater.com©

USA TODAY SAYS TRUMP UNFIT TO CLEAN TOILETS

Washington, DC December 13, 2017
“They’re right, I wouldn’t be a great choice for toilet work. I’ll leave that to the rest of the swamp. I’m clean, they’re sloshing around in the muck. People, you gotta stick with me. Don’t let this Kirsten Gillibrand run her mouth off without a response. You bet I’m gonna fight back and fight back hard. Your President is not a quitter. I won’t quit. I’ll say what I want whenever I want. I’m just trolling you anyway. In order to juice the ratings, I know just what will get you people all riled up. Right now while you think I’m down on the mat, I’m sitting on my couch laughing my head off. Sure I care about the country, just not as much as I love yanking your chains.” ~~slater.com©

TRUMP TAKES CREDIT FOR BITCOINS RISE

Washington, DC November 28, 2017
“I did it. I think everyone agrees with me. I’m responsible. Bitcoin hit $10,000 on some exchanges today. Where do you think it would be if I wasn’t in charge? Right, nowhere. I’ve always been good at making nothing seem like something and vice versa. Bitcoin was made for me. I mean maybe I’m that Satoshi guy. Can you prove I’m not? In any event, I’ve instructed the Philadelphia and Denver mints to begin to design new bitcoins with the distinct likeness of me for distribution in 2018. Like me, I expect the freshly pressed coins to be priceless.” ~~slater.com©

TRUMP SAYS ASIA LOVES HIM BETTER THAN ANYONE THOUGHT

Washington, DC November 16, 2017
“They love me. But I mean they really love me over there. I was honored more and better than any President ever was. More red carpets. More military honor guards. More royal buffets. Better accommodations. Giant pictures of me on the sides of buildings all throughout the routes with cheering crowds. They really know how to get their people in line to be respectful to important foreign dignitaries. I wish we could do that. Yes, I am the most famous and highly regarded person on the planet. No one is even close. I have money, power and more fame than anyone ever has. No one has ever seen anything like this. Ever. I truly am one of a kind. No one is like me. Who is like me?” ~~slater.com©