Tag Archives: amazon


New York, NY February 18, 2019
“I am still so excited about our huge victory over the richest man in the world! No one can say the little man can’t win anymore! We did it. And now we will allocate the Dollars where they are most needed. First to jobs training. We need jobs here in Queens. We’ve got to put our people to work. Education is next. We have to educate our citizens to be ready for any corporation that may want to set up shop here in Queens where I was elected. Remember, luck is just where preparation meets opportunity. We never know when a large employer from a distant place might choose our city for their far-flung operations, maybe even a new headquarters! Yes, it is rare for an entrenched company to move tens of thousands of potential positions to a new location. It is expensive and time consuming but we must be ready. Now that we have saved the 3 billion dollars that we would have had to give Jeff Bezos we can build schools and training centers – maybe even some health clinics for our citizens. Bottom line, we will allocate the money and keep it out of the greedy hands of entrepreneurs and so-called business people. We, the duly elected representatives of the people, will begin these programs as soon as I am informed where the 3 billion dollars that we were going to credit Amazon with is being held. After they tell me where it is, I’ll post a photo on instagram so you can all see the pile of cash, and then as we spend it, I’ll show you the people coming in to cart it away so we can build all our new facilities and programs”. ~~slater.com©


Seattle, WA January 22, 2018
“People think I have all kinds of money now but the truth is I really don’t. First, unless I sell my Amazon stock I don’t actually get any money because we don’t even pay a dividend. Zero. Then when I do sell a little stock, most of that money goes to my rocket company Blue Origin. Plus my accountant says that after I pay excise tax, property tax, millionaire tax, customs tax, border tax, state tax, federal tax, sales tax, withholding, Social security, medical insurance, FICO, LICO, BICO, FOFO and LIFO there’s not much left. Plus he said that I need to pay for undercoating, rustproofing, dealer holdback and mandated insurance with a 125 billion dollar umbrella. I don’t really think I’ll be able to slow down and take a breath until I have about 10 times my current net worth or 1 trillion dollars. Of course with inflation, I’m not sure that’d even be enough.” ~~slater.com©


Seatle, WA. November 30, 2015
Amazon revealed their new drone prototype today to the media. Amazon disclosed a new design with rear facing propellers and a secure internal compartment which contains and protects parcels out for delivery. Amazon said it is well aware of the challenges ahead with Governmental authorities as well as operational difficulties. “Our goal is to be completely vertically integrated from click to user. For now we will continue to partner with many organizations and individuals but at some point we want to do it all on our own. The drone program is an integral part of that agenda. Look, at this point, I think everyone is well aware that we engage with other corporations and individuals because that works best for us at this time. We are a very long-term focused organization that is always looking in the rear-view mirror. Paranoid doesn’t even really describe what we’re about because paranoid often means that someone just thinks other companies are after them – we know they are. We’re confirmed paranoids and we don’t take offense at the diagnosis – we embrace it. Our vision is quite simple. Keep iterating our model until we are the lowest cost provider of whatever anyone may want or need and own the complete logistics infrastructure to totally eliminate the need for physical stores or reliance on other delivery organizations. The main reason stores still provide value is that they offer immediate satisfaction. You can drive there and touch your product and bring it home right away. Kinda hard to beat. If you don’t like it you can just drop it off the next time you are out. Also nice and easy. But one thing that will beat that model is quicker delivery without leaving your home. Our current model allows ordering from your house but you need to wait for delivery and if you don’t want the item, well, you’ll need to make arrangements to have it picked up. Also a bit of a hassle. With Amazon DroneDropNow you can have your item (in many cases) in minutes rather than hours or days. One of the best parts of the program that is not oft discussed is returns. We plan to send the drone back to you on request to pick up the item. Additionally we’re currently working with our Zappos shoe unit to develop a shoe drone sampler that will allow you to try on up to 4 pairs of shoes at your home while the drone waits outside. After you determine which shoes you want to return just go online and select the items for return, go outside and the drone will envelop the unwanted boxes, advise with lights and sounds (including voice) that launch is imminent. So a half hour or so after seeing shoes online you can try them on at home, keep what you want and return the rest with no traffic and no hassles. Here at Amazon we still envision many shopping centers will remain open for sentimental reasons with the remember-when nostalgia mall tours still a big draw late into the 21st century. We may even participate with a little Amazon Christmas village in select malls and locations internationally”. —slater.com©