Tag Archives: bush


New York, NY October 9, 2016
“I’m not sure if the tape was doctored or what, but I don’t exactly remember saying all of that. I might have had a minor type of similar conversation with Billy Bush, but it was so long ago maybe the Clintons fixed up the tape to make me look bad, I really don’t know. What I do know is that Bill Cosby is on trial here not me, right? So if the evidence were so strong that something illegal happened, then why aren’t I in jail? Think about it. He’s out roaming the streets with his medication doing who knows what while the media focus’s on me. Is it Bill Cosby or Bill Clinton? I don’t know. What I do know is that some women are very hot. Should I keep that a secret? I don’t think so. Besides, get over yourselves. I’ve said and done a lot worse before this came out that everybody already knows about. Why this? Why now? Media bias, right? Just wear your red hats and vote for me and let my private conversations stay private. After all, what about the 1st and 2nd amendments? Think about that. Do we need more amendments to protect my right to speak with a member of the Bush family in a private bus, just us two? Can you get a little privacy here in the states? I’m not sure anymore, right? It seems a little coincidental that a relative of Jeb’s is trying to bring me down with a little tape. Bushes in the White House. Bushes in the media. What’s up with that? Seems a little fishy to me. Y’know Snowden’s in Russia where he can speak freely about stuff. Ironic right? Hillary blasts my friend Vladimir but he lets an American speak his mind. What about my rights? Do I have to go to Russia to say what I feel? I hope not. I hope that America is still a place I can call home. Women are driving this issue. I don’t have a problem with them. They have a problem with me. I’m an open book. What are they thinking? I don’t want their votes anyway. They can stay home for all I care. If they don’t like that kind of talk, vote for someone else. I’ve got to be me. I’ve got to be free to express myself. You finally have a chance to vote for a President that revealed the skeletons in his closet before election day, not after. I’m not dropping out. I’m not a quitter. Don’t miss your chance to bring some reality to DC.” —slater.com©


Palm Beach, FL March 6, 2016
“I’m through with those weak sisters in the GOP. I belong to the GNP. I’ve had it up to here with CPAC and their marching orders. They can follow me now. CPAC elites and the rest of the Romneyettes can jump in a lake for all I care. They don’t have the following and they don’t have the votes. But I do. You may not like me but if enough of a special group of people do then I’ll be downsizing and moving into the White House. Oh, who are those special people? I like to call them voters. If I get the votes I’ll turn this country upside down and inside out. You think I don’t remember all the insults you’ve all been throwing at me all these years. Partying all night and laughing it up? Well get ready for a new Trump 10PM curfew journalists. You like to type false things about me? Now you’ll have more time all tucked into your little apartments with your little laptops trying to think of things that will get my followers to turn on me. Good luck because in the movie The Fifth Element, the priest asked the President not to shoot at the dark planet because it would absorb the negative energy and become stronger. Have you noticed the same thing happening here? You’re through writers and so called journalists, it’s a Trumponian world now. Happened faster than you thought it could? George W. Bushes two oceans didn’t protect you from me? Yeah, you’ll keep trying. No I won’t burn your precious books. Me I’m not much of a reader. But thanks to Amazon most so called books are really just easily disrupted and modified ones and zeros. My people are working on that now. Once elected we can federally override security protocols and make the necessary changes so my name and my rules will be the order of the day. No not like North Korea exactly because I don’t expect to turn the country over to my son, but I’m not ruling that out. And no prison farms or things like that at least I don’t think so right now. There’s gonna be some changes though, rest assured of that. We’ll be getting great deals on everything and many great people will be in my administration, the best people we have – better than anyone elses people believe me. Just follow my dictates and tow the line. But we are gonna have some fun in Cleveland, right? They’ll try a little misdirection and some dry ice special effects but when the fog clears, I’ll be standing on that stage and all hail Caesar.” —slater.com©


Miami, Fl February 23, 2016
Today former Florida Governor Jeb Bush commented outside his Miami campaign HQ. “I only said I was suspending my campaign. I’m a long way from out. I’m actually still very much alive. I’m hovering around being an active player but right now I’m circling but not quite ready to jump back into the fray. A lot of people confuse suspending a campaign with abandoning a campaign. I in no way ever used the word abandon. That’s just not my style. I said I would see this through to the end and that’s just what I’m going to do. Remember they still need to choose a VP and my Dad was Regans VP and that didn’t work out too bad now did it? So don’t count me out and don’t try to pigeon hole me. I may seem like I’ve stepped aside but the way I see it Donald Trump doesn’t wind up being the President. Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz may have citizenship problems. I mean Ted Cruz was a sitting US Senator while he was a citizen of another country. He wasn’t born here and we’re not sure whether Marco has some illegal immigration issues or not. I mean we just don’t know. So what about Dr. Carson? Nice guy but so many concerns it’s not really conceivable that he could emerge. That leaves Kasich. I’m seeing Bush/Kasich or even Kasich/Bush. I can’t say why but I’m feelin like that could be my ticket out of this mess. I can’t go up to Kennebunkport this summer a total loser. I’ve got to save face somehow. I mean my Dad has SS protection and my Brother has all his agents around plus former Presidents get updates on what’s going on which they are prohibited from talking to me about. So you think I’m going to watch my Father and Brother walk into the den and close the door, lock me out and post a guard while they are privy to the most important issues of our day? NO. I suffered a lot of injustice and embarrassment during this campaign so far but I’m not going away so fast. One way or another I’m still thinking that the Bush Clinton feud ain’t over.” —slater.com©


New York, NY and Miami Fl September 4, 2015
Today Hillary Clinton and Jeb Bush projected a united front during a joint live-video-feed press conference from New York and Miami simulcast on both twitter-owned periscope and independent meercat. Speaking as one, Clinton and Bush gave a 22 minute presentation on the merits of familial rule vs. random populace elections. Following are highlights of that discussion: Secretary Clinton began, “Look I get it. You want fresh faces from families that have not had a turn ruling yet. Sure a case could be made for that.” Bush chimed in, “I know that some people are tired of the Clinton-Bush rivalry and want to move on to a new era. But with the situation that the world somehow finds itself in today, Hillary and I know that this country needs experienced leadership.” Hillary followed up with, “That’s right Jeb, we both have extensive direct political experience as well as through familial ties and we can call on family members for advice since they would have also been President at one time.” Jeb said, “Yes, Hillary you’ve got to have someone to call when situations arise in the world. I’ll call my brother first as coincidentally he was smack-dab in the middle of most of the trouble spots that have emerged in the world today. Y’know even when we were just young tikes that boy was always getting himself and everyone around him in one heck of a heap a trouble, let me tell you.” Hillary said, “Don’t I know it Jeb, relatives can really get into some deep holes that are difficult to get out of. But they’re the only ones in the entire world who’ve been there and done that and we can’t let this kind of political insight go to waste.” Jeb said, “Y’know Hillary we may have different views on policy and party platforms but we sure do see eye-to-eye on this one. Let’s work together to keep America on the path to greatness by insuring that our future is in the hands of individuals that have been time-tested in key governmental roles over the long haul”. Hillary said, “You are so right Jeb, its really got to be a person and preferably a family that has already lived the Presidential experience from inside the White House, if posible. That doesn’t leave us with too many choices but we’ll work with what we’ve got. We’re Americans after all.” Jeb said, “You got that right Hillary, we get ‘er done. That we do and more. And you can quote me on that.” Hillary then said, “So Jeb let’s break down our plan for these fine journalists so we can get our bipartisan message out to the people intact. We plan to lay low and let the extreme right aka Mr.Trump and the extreme left aka Bernie Sanders fly all over the country and spout off at the mouth everything wrong with society and when they run down all their money and energy, we’ll offer solutions that Americans can believe in.” Jeb said, “You got it Hillary, we’ll wait ’em out and head ’em off at the pass. Whatever we got to do because their efforts as Bill Murray said just don’t matter and the entrenched, experienced, Washingtonians have the inside track and all the money. It just doesn’t matter. It just doesn’t matter.” “Jeb, you said a mouthful but you got it right. In a few months as they are running out of gas we’ll be there to scoop up their supporters with kind words and images of a bright future.” “They’ll never know what hit ’em Hill.” “They never do Jebby. They never do” —slater.com©

Jeb says third times the charm

Miami Florida June 18, 2015
Today Jeb Bush said that all the fuss about his family political dynasty is being overblown. “I am my own man. My family has zero to do with me in any way regarding my candidacy. As you know my Mother famously said that enough Bushes have already been President and to give others a chance. But even so I will run and try my best to win and lead this great country of ours!” Bush was asked about his Dad failing to get a second term and his brother acting on misinformation and being largely blamed for the condition of the Middle East and other world problems. He replied, “It falls to me to correct Bush-caused problems of the past. I am the chosen one who will bring our families honor back whatever it takes. Count on that!” He was asked what makes him so confident and replied, “All my life I’ve noticed patterns. And all my life those patterns seemed to fall in threes. Ipso facto, I will be the Bush family saviour as the third times the charm. You know how you sometimes dream that the whole world is really just a set for your personal play? No? Well I do sometimes and as a Bush I kind of feel that we are supposed to be the lead actors in this play. You know how in High School the same actors keep getting chosen for the lead until they graduate? Well just think of my Father and Brother having graduated and now I’m up. Maybe in all of your personal plays or movies you can be President too! Meanwhile I think it’s pretty obvious that it’s my turn. Don’t get me wrong. I know I’ll have to work for it. You will all try and make it harder on me to build me up and train me, but, the conclusion of the story has already been written in my mind”. —-slater.com©

Barbara Bush says I told you so

Houston Texas May 17, 2015
In an awkward break from family solidarity Barbara Bush today said that her official campaign slogan remains, “No more Bushes”. She went on,” I said months ago before all this media coverage that Jeb should not run and no other Bushes should run for office in the future. I indicated that other families deserved a chance at the political limelight and it looks like I am in the process of being proven correct. As I have said before, deep down I know that Jeb would be a great President and is perhaps the best of the currrent pool of prospective nominees. However, enough is enough. We left England in part because a single family ruled for centuries and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Let’s follow George Washington’s example and allow for all individuals to participate in the electoral process as both a voter and a candidate. Should there be a prerequisite that you are related to a former President? I think not. I support all my family memebers fully especially my children and I want the best for them but America counts too and it needs new blood. Let’s move forward and on to the Presidency in true Republican style with grace and honor and most of all Bush-free in 2016!”

Reached for comment in Tempe Arizona Jeb Bush said, “I know my Mom is for me deep down and I’ll always have her support when I need it most”. Asked if her love for America superceding her political support of his potential candidicy is a hinderence to his campaign, Bush said, “No, I am a 62 year old grandfather. My Mommy can say anything she wants and I’ll do what I want as well”. Bush was asked about his claims this week that he would do what his Brother did in Iraq and also that he would not go into Iraq. He was asked to square the apparent flip-flop. Bush replied, “All of you so-called newscasters with your crazy hypotheticals flying around. How about we get real and face the future together instead of looking back towards what my Brother did and whether I might or might not do the same? The bottom line is this-we’re from Texas. Saddam Hussain created a mosaic of my Dad’s face at the entrance to one of his buildings causing shoes and feet and dirt to stain the very image of my Dad. His honor was besmirched on a daily basis so when a picture of a truck was found near what appeared to be a warehouse which could have contained many things including dangerous materials, what was my Brother to do? Here was a clear besmirchment coupled with a potential dangerous situation-it was quite incendiary. He merely wanted to remove the mosaic image of our Dad while cleaning out the warehouse per our satillite intel. I mean in retrospect what would anyone have done if it was their Father? Do you ask yourselves that?” But later you said you wouldn’t have gone into Iraq. What’s that about? Bush said, “Correct, I would have maintained a more focused theatre of engagement”. How so? “I would have taken out the tile doormat of Dad by air and sent in a special forces elite team to discover the true contents of the warehouse. It’s the combination of select drone and air missions, high-level intel partnerships and elite commando raids that will win the day long term.” Isn’t that what President Obama is doing now? Bush said, “I don’t focus on the competition. I play to win. I run the race in front of me and don’t look back. I suggest you do the same”. —slater.com©

Jeb asserts Bushes not trying to restore English crown to US

Miami, Fl.
Today former republican Florida Governor Jeb Bush made known his distaste for the current theory that the Bush family has some secret plan to restore the English Crown to the US. Bush said,” The liberal media’s portrayal of my meeting with Queen Elizabeth as anything more than a cordial get-together of old friends is preposterous. I stopped by Kensington not to “receive instructions” or to “cement plans” but to just “say hi”. Bush added that it is merely a coincidence that his Father and Brother were both US Presidents. “Should I be excluded from running just because other members of my family have sought leadership positions in the past? I have a lot to offer this country and yes maybe I did pick up a thing or two watching my family run things. Is it so bad that the continuity of one family in charge of things breeds stability and control? We’re the greatest country on earth and maybe my family helped. I’m proud of that. If you elect me then maybe even more help is on the way. Think about that while you’re trying to create a dust-up where none needs to exist. I have my own ideas, my own theories, my own brand of compassionate conservatism that may resemble prior Bush administrations but will never duplicate or copy their methods outwardly or inwardly for that matter. I may look similar to them and my advisors may be the same but the country is changing and I’ll adapt to whatever situation evolves. Don’t judge me by my family, my upbringing or how I look. Would you want to be judged that way?”.

When asked about the recent extravagant purchases by his wife Bush replied,”The fact that the media is trying to draw a parallel between my wife’s jewelry purchases and the crown jewels of England is insulting. The reason my wife took the diamonds, rubies and emeralds out of their settings and glued them into a mock-up of a crown was simply for one of our grandchildren’s halloween costumes. Most Americans celebrate halloween – we’re no different. The picture of my wife wearing the bejeweled crown was just a silly photo – all in fun. We don’t consider ourselves American royalty or anything like that. It’s just that we think the first George (Washington) may have been a tad hasty when he turned over the keys to the kingdom after his term was up. That’s the moment he could have created a dynasty – could still be members of his family in high places pulling all the strings, could have held power and control. Yes – he could have had it all. Instead with this constant turnover of Presidents it’s difficult to get things done. You can see the dysfunction in Washington today, can’t you? I mean it’s not just me is it? We need some straight line dynastic thinking, some consistency, an old approach to old problems because this is no time to reinvent the wheel. Conservatism is about conserving and nothing conserves better or more than the same old thing and that is best represented by me”. –slater.com©