Tag Archives: Cruz


Cleveland, OH July 21, 2016
“Vote your heart for freedom. Hear the bell of the people ringing and pull the lever with my name on it or write me in for the love of country. You know in your heart that only I can espouse and then execute on true conservative principles. Not Donald Trump or his thoughtless minions. It has to be me. I’m still available as a write-in. Use your voting power to send a message to Donald and his followers that we will not move. We will not be shaken. We will not change our positions for the convenience of the moment. Fly the Cruz flag next to the Stars and Stripes proudly. And if somehow I don’t get enough write-in votes to ascend to the Presidency and Hillary is elected then I can always try again in 2020. Remember I’m all about you and the USA not self-centered like the Donald. Vote your conscience fellow citizens.” —slater.com©


Indianapolis,IN May 3, 2016
“I know I can’t win but I don’t want to stop. I love it out here. The people. The crowds. The cheers. Even the jeers. The energy of so many Americans participating in this nomination process is exhilarating. I’m afraid I’m changing from trusTED to addicTED. AddicTED to the constant media interaction and the argumentation and debate. I really love it. Mainly I know what happens when I drop out. I won’t be in the eye of the hurricane anymore. My colleagues in the Senate won’t exactly welcome me back with open arms either. I’ll be in a kind of no mans land, not a candidate and not really supported in my current job. That’s why I thought I’d juice up the coverage with a VP but the buzz didn’t last as long as I thought it would. When Carly fell off the stage yesterday I wasn’t really sure what was going on. I guess I should have gone over to see if she was OK but I was glad-handing and I know my time in the spotlight is almost over so I’m savoring every minute. I’m sure she’ll understand. We weren’t exactly destined to be together for much longer anyway”. —slater.com©


Madison Wisconsin April 6, 2016
“You think I don’t know who did this? Believe me I know. I knew before they even counted the votes. The RNC thinks it’s pretty clever and nobody would notice. But guess what RNC, you won nuthin with your fake front man Lyin Ted. We all know that you won’t nominate him. He’s just a lever for you to try and remove me from contention. But it won’t work. The people are too smart for your outdated parlor tricks. It’s plain as day to anyone watching. You are making sure I won’t have the delegates pre-convention by funneling votes to Cruz. Everyone already knows this – except Lyin Ted – who’s massively oversized ego (and I’d know) is allowing him and his people to believe that the most despised politician in Washington could get the votes to be the leader. The media calls me the Emperor with no clothes, but Ted is the Emperor with NO CLUE. He is happy to go along with this charade for as long as he can as there is no other way for him to be taken seriously albeit for just a few months. Then he can go back to his do-nothing grandstanding reading childrens books to an empty Senate while Rome burns”. —slater.com©


Palm Beach, FL March 6, 2016
“I’m through with those weak sisters in the GOP. I belong to the GNP. I’ve had it up to here with CPAC and their marching orders. They can follow me now. CPAC elites and the rest of the Romneyettes can jump in a lake for all I care. They don’t have the following and they don’t have the votes. But I do. You may not like me but if enough of a special group of people do then I’ll be downsizing and moving into the White House. Oh, who are those special people? I like to call them voters. If I get the votes I’ll turn this country upside down and inside out. You think I don’t remember all the insults you’ve all been throwing at me all these years. Partying all night and laughing it up? Well get ready for a new Trump 10PM curfew journalists. You like to type false things about me? Now you’ll have more time all tucked into your little apartments with your little laptops trying to think of things that will get my followers to turn on me. Good luck because in the movie The Fifth Element, the priest asked the President not to shoot at the dark planet because it would absorb the negative energy and become stronger. Have you noticed the same thing happening here? You’re through writers and so called journalists, it’s a Trumponian world now. Happened faster than you thought it could? George W. Bushes two oceans didn’t protect you from me? Yeah, you’ll keep trying. No I won’t burn your precious books. Me I’m not much of a reader. But thanks to Amazon most so called books are really just easily disrupted and modified ones and zeros. My people are working on that now. Once elected we can federally override security protocols and make the necessary changes so my name and my rules will be the order of the day. No not like North Korea exactly because I don’t expect to turn the country over to my son, but I’m not ruling that out. And no prison farms or things like that at least I don’t think so right now. There’s gonna be some changes though, rest assured of that. We’ll be getting great deals on everything and many great people will be in my administration, the best people we have – better than anyone elses people believe me. Just follow my dictates and tow the line. But we are gonna have some fun in Cleveland, right? They’ll try a little misdirection and some dry ice special effects but when the fog clears, I’ll be standing on that stage and all hail Caesar.” —slater.com©


Trenton, NJ February 28, 2016
Chris Christie restated his formal endorsement in Texas for businessman and Republican Presidential hopeful Donald Trump. “Look, I’m a straight talker you know that. Yeah I think I’d make a better President than Donald. Everyone running thinks they’re the best so what’s new. The reality is you’ve also got to be a realist. My main concern is that I have offended the people of New Jersey by signing up to be their Governor and then went and tried to get another job in a very public way. Of course they’re angry. It’s just human nature. I’d want the guy I hired to be at work and to get things done. And yeah we’re accomplishing stuff but let’s be real, probably not as much as if I was exclusively focused on being Governor of New Jersey. So with the residents of my state agitated and my Presidential ambitions currently suspended, I took a breath and realized that Vice President of the United States doesn’t sound too bad. Now understand this, Donald did not make any concrete promises, but I think we’re simpatico on many issues and quite frankly we’d make a great team. I’m a loyal guy and Donald respects loyalists. And the thing is whether or not you believe he can get done the things he has promised to do, his track record in terms of completing promised projects is pretty good. When I saw him initially adopting the same Make America Great Again slogan as Hitler used, it did kind of offend me, but hey I’m from New Jersey and if there’s one thing we know here it’s keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” —slater©


Miami, Fl February 23, 2016
Today former Florida Governor Jeb Bush commented outside his Miami campaign HQ. “I only said I was suspending my campaign. I’m a long way from out. I’m actually still very much alive. I’m hovering around being an active player but right now I’m circling but not quite ready to jump back into the fray. A lot of people confuse suspending a campaign with abandoning a campaign. I in no way ever used the word abandon. That’s just not my style. I said I would see this through to the end and that’s just what I’m going to do. Remember they still need to choose a VP and my Dad was Regans VP and that didn’t work out too bad now did it? So don’t count me out and don’t try to pigeon hole me. I may seem like I’ve stepped aside but the way I see it Donald Trump doesn’t wind up being the President. Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz may have citizenship problems. I mean Ted Cruz was a sitting US Senator while he was a citizen of another country. He wasn’t born here and we’re not sure whether Marco has some illegal immigration issues or not. I mean we just don’t know. So what about Dr. Carson? Nice guy but so many concerns it’s not really conceivable that he could emerge. That leaves Kasich. I’m seeing Bush/Kasich or even Kasich/Bush. I can’t say why but I’m feelin like that could be my ticket out of this mess. I can’t go up to Kennebunkport this summer a total loser. I’ve got to save face somehow. I mean my Dad has SS protection and my Brother has all his agents around plus former Presidents get updates on what’s going on which they are prohibited from talking to me about. So you think I’m going to watch my Father and Brother walk into the den and close the door, lock me out and post a guard while they are privy to the most important issues of our day? NO. I suffered a lot of injustice and embarrassment during this campaign so far but I’m not going away so fast. One way or another I’m still thinking that the Bush Clinton feud ain’t over.” —slater.com©

Trump says Cruz not American

Waukee, Iowa January 15, 2016
Today Donald Trump further distanced himself from Senator Ted Cruz. “To tell you the truth I just don’t consider him an American. He wasn’t born here in the USA and he can’t be President. Period. He really shouldn’t have even been able to run for the Senate but his wife is connected to Goldman Sachs and they got about 1/2 a million dollars from them along with 1/2 a million dollars from Citibank. He’s a Massachusets trained lawyer with most of his family income on the books from Wall Street and then after his northeast connections and financings he backstabs the lot of them and bad mouths the people who lent him their support. He’s got a high IQ I think but he’s incredibly naive. He’s a true politician pandering to anyone who’ll listen. It’s been hard laying off highlighting his faults because he didn’t really break my cardinal rule till now. Is Cruz a low down snake? You figure it out. Meanwhile I can tell you he’s the stiffest most arrogant patronizing downright creepy guy on that stage. I mean I think I’ll be the nominee but anyone on that stage but Cruz is a better choice. Remember your ABC’s – Anyone But Cruz. You want the phoniest candidate – pick him. You want genuine authenticity and someone who speaks the truth despite the consequences then damn the torpedoes full speed ahead vote Trump.” —slater.com©


Washington DC October 8, 2015
Today at a Capitol Hill news conference Congressman McCarthy made a statement related to his decision to step down as a candidate for Speaker of the House of Representatives. “My fellow Americans, today is a good day but a sad day. I must announce something that everyone already knew. I am not now nor have I ever been a Speaker. Due to some personal issues that I don’t wish to discuss, my ability to string a few sentences together in a cohesive and coherent manner has been called into question on any number of occasions. I mean of all the jobs I could have tried for, Speaker? C’mon, I was hornswoggled and bamboozled into this contest. They forced me in and now they’re pushing me out and I know why too. There’s no question that this is a clear-cut case of discrimination based on personal speech style and content. How I speak, what I say, when I talk and in what way has been called into question on more than just this day. Am I being forced out by my political Hilary-bashing Benghazi interview? No. Will a forthcoming legal action by me against Republican leadership over this obvious discriminatory election hierarchy process be disruptive to our collegiality? No more so than Senator Cruz calling Republican leadership liars on the Senate floor. I’m not alone, there are others. You should be well aware of who I am referring to. I can do many things well by the way. I am a first rate glad-hander. I can schmooze constituents like nobody’s business. I raise cain and prod contributors into seeing things our way when need be. There’s plenty I can do here. I’m not leaving Congress under this cloud or any conceivable circumstances, y’here me? I’m here to stay. I vow to never allow term-limits. We will never get together and fire ourselves, that I can firmly assure you today. I can get things done. Lots of things. We don’t need to go through the list. Just trust me. Plenty of things are getting done. You just watch future things that’ve been done in the past will rear their heads and come into being forthwith. It’s times like these that try mens souls and so on and so forth. Although I’m quitting the race today, we have not yet begun to fight, on that you can rest assured. Our biggest challenge recently has been our lack of a proper scapegoat. We do kinda function best when we have some Democrats to kick around but with Obama leaving soon and Republican control of both houses we’re starting to eat our young. And being the pro-life party, that’s just not good policy”.—slater.com©

Ted Cruz declares it’s time for a Tea Party in the White House

Lynchburg Virginia, March 23, 2015
Freshman Senator Ted Cruz today became the first Republican to officially declare his candidacy for the office of President of the United States. Cruz was visibly energized by the friendly and engaging crowd of mostly youthful Liberty University students. Cruz announced, “Today friends we embark on a journey together that can only end one way if we play our cards right. We will walk together hand in hand onto the great lawn of the commander in chiefs official residence and then proceed as one into the White House itself! If we can dream it we can do it! Live the dream! Fight the good fight! Victory is ours!”

Cruz really got the crowd going with his soaring rhetorical prose spoken with feeling and verve. Cruz said, “It’s time, no it’s long past time for us to make our case like we have never made it before! Weapons – hell yes!, Individuality – Hell no! Marriage and family – hell yes! Non-family – hell no! Freedom – hell yes! Non-freedom – hell no! Taxes – hell no! Roads, bridges and schools – hell yes!”

Cruz went on to say, “Friends, it has been too long, far too long that America has restricted Presidential eligibility to individuals who were born here in America. As most of you know, I was not born here in the United States. I was born across the border in Canada. I can prove I was born in Canada, so we won’t have all of the distractions we had with Obamas birthplace. Was he born in Hawaii like his birth certificate said? Was he born elsewhere like we in the Tea Party said? With the Democrats and Obama there was always a question – but with my candidacy everything is out in the open right from the start. No guessing games. No confusion. I wasn’t born in the USA and that’s that! We can stop wasting our time investigating non-native candidates and just move on to the Presidential contest itself. Transparency, nothing up my sleeve and everything clear from the get go. Refreshing isn’t it? As my close friend Governor Palin says, “You betcha”. My Dad is originally from Cuba and I was born in Canada so international affairs in the Americas will be second nature to me as leader of the free world. I have informed many people on an untold number of occasions how bright I am so I’ve got plenty of references for you there. Additionally, I’m an Ivy Leaguer so you know I can do the job. As you know the last Republican President “W” was also from Texas and completed degrees from two Ivy League Universities – both Harvard and Yale. Proof positive of the virtual guarantee that Ivy grads are smart and successful! We get ‘er done!!”

“I am grateful for your support. I know it’s hard to stand behind someone who is not the perceived front-runner. You guys are taking a chance backing the underdog, a man who is not well-liked by his peers but hear me and hear me well — if the entire congress has a 9% favorable rating and my peers don’t like me — then correct me if my math is off but that means that 91% of the American voting public is practically in love with me!! I know I am! I mean I love them. Anyway, even though we may be doing well right now things have a way of changing over time in politics so I ask that you stick with me through it all- whatever you hear, whatever the lead they seem to have, however dark the days get or whatever lies wait for us around the bend – be vigilant – stand fast – stay tough – and know this above all – if not now when and if not me who?”

“Additionally, as a reward for your service to me in getting me the nomination I will use part of your campaign contributions to fund an inaugural victory float that will be a replica of the ship in Boston Harbor carrying the tea that Bostonians gathered to toss overboard. And in thanks to you for your efforts to help me I will stock that float with tea bags that contain tea leaves that are purported to have descended from the original tea leaves. Each will contain the inscription,”No representation without taxation” meaning that as your President I will not represent the people properly without the proper amount of taxation. I will also dress as a Mohawk Indian as they did to cast suspicion toward a scapegoat and then instead of throwing the tea into the water I will toss it to you in the crowd. Each tea bag will be autographed by me and contain a ceremonial portrait of me embossed on the side for your private collection. I intend to release a tea of the month club at a reduced rate for large campaign donors. I will personally curate the collection to my own inscrutable standards. I can assure you that it will taste as good as it looks. You have my word on that as a gentleman and a scholar.” —slater.com©