Tag Archives: Murdoch


Washington, DC November 1, 2018
“Today I called entrepreneur Elon Musk to advise him of my intention to sign with his company for a pet project of mine. I will announce soon that Musk’s Boring Company will build for me and the US a high-speed underground rail line that will move people directly to Mexico quickly and in short order. This new innovation will reduce the time it takes to reverse the tide of unwashed masses hurtling toward our shining shores. These aliens will be sent back without prejudice, favor or discrimination. Just based on the legal facts, that’s all. I was asked by the press if my mother was a legal citizen at my birth as well as the mothers of 4 of my 5 children. I believe they all were, but if it is proven that the marriages were invalid for cause, then I agree that me and 4 of my children will be amongst the first load on the underground railway out of the country. This rule must apply to everyone including the elite like me. I have informed 4 of my children and they are unhappy but will comply if necessary. Meanwhile the weather in Mexico is very nice and we can fly anywhere we wish to if it doesn’t work out there. Wherever we Trumps go though, success will follow and we will be the cream that rises to the top in any environment. If you stop winning after we leave don’t say I didn’t warn you.” ~~slater.com©


Washington, DC May 1, 2017
Interviewed by John Dickerson over the weekend President Trump finally admitted, “I don’t stand by anything.” We caught up with the President to see if we could get some clarification. Mr. President with all due respect, sir, you didn’t really mean that you don’t stand by anything, do you? “Yeah, actually I’m the one person here in Washington who does mean what they say. You watched the interview and I stand by my comments, each and every one.” But Mr. President, the key controversial statement that you made was that you don’t stand by anything, now you say that you do stand by your comments. “That’s right, I stand by my comment that I don’t stand by anything. But anything has different meanings to different people. Remember, citizens in this great country of ours are diverse. Not just in their appearance but in their views, education and life experiences. I am speaking to them, my American people. They deserve straight talk and I’m the one who’s gonna let them have it”. But, sir, how can you equate straight talk with not standing by anything you say? I mean you said that on tape for all to see on CBS. “Maybe they edited the tape in some way to make me look bad, that’s the fake news for you. I was just in Harrisburg with my folks and they don’t think much of the news either. I bet a lot of them wouldn’t stand by it. I don’t think we should stand for it either, do you?” Sir well, that’s not really for me to say. “Sure it is, you’re an American, right? You have the right to free speech. But remember that freedom isn’t free. I’m asking other countries to pony up right now by the way. No more free rides on old Uncle Sams back. No more freeloading. You wanna sit on my couch all day, you’d best have settled the bill with the front desk. Am I right?” Well sir, I, I don’t really know. But what about the fact that you stated on the record that you simply don’t stand for anything? “Well son, just because I seemed to say it, don’t make it true now does it?” ~~slater.com©


Moscow April 2, 2017
“No, we did not elect or help to elect your President Trump. We have enough to do here in our country. Many ills to fight and many challenges at home. As expert chess players if we wanted to make moves around your manbaby leader it would be how you say piece of cake. We could do it, of course, but it is not in our interest to run your country and ours simultaneously. We need to focus on our energy business and social programs and such. Why don’t you get your health care fixed? Are we interfering? Why don’t you get your roads, bridges, airports, tunnels, trains, electric grids, power plants, air traffic control, dams, cyber platforms and all other infrastructure repaired or upgraded? Is Big Bad Russian wolf stopping you? Why don’t you get your tax system reformed so your country will regain its competitiveness and your companies will stop hiding their profits offshore? How exactly are we preventing that? Why don’t you decide on your immigration policy? Do what you want. Are we hindering your decision-making abilities? We could care less who you choose to let in or keep out. While it is true that both our countries have been engaging in spying activities and disinformation campaigns for all of this century and most of the last, could it be comrades, that your government and press like to spar over inflammatory topics that inspire a nationalist spirit in your country to sell your news and to keep the peoples attention off of the real issues that affect them right now and will affect their children in the future? If so, then your misdirection is working and you can continue to point your finger and weapons at us. But we are not fooled. Not Nyet anyway”. ~~slater.com©


Washington, DC March 21, 2017
“Abraham Lincoln was wrong. He said, “You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time”. But I believe I can fool all of the people all of the time because that’s not really my intention. That’s because the truth is fungible. How do we really know how many dimensions there are? Who can tell if string theory permeates speech and actions? Are we really here? Right? Maybe, but probably not. So what so-called words am I speaking or writing that can be quantified in earthly linguistics? Do you truly know how you came to be? What is existence? Is it different for you than me? Can you be the judge of what is real in my world? Should you judge me? Or anyone? So it’s not really a psychic shell game, but a sorely needed shot of non-reality which coincides with the seeming reality we all may find ourselves in. Believe me.” ~~slater.com©


Washington, DC February 24, 2017
“We think that Donald Trump is a fake President. We have a series of reliable sources that say he is totally fake with a capital F. Fake like nobody’s business. Faux like the fake facades on his buildings. Glittery like a fake glass ring. Phony like fools gold. If Judges are so-called fake judges and the media only reports fake made-up stories then the leader of this sad rusting hulk adrift at sea must also be fake. President in name only like the shiny gold signs he rents to hotels, apartments and casinos. Not really a Trump property, just says Trump on the door to draw people in.”

In response, President Trump said, “The fake media is at it again. I’m not fake they are. That’s what they are but what am I? Not fake, I can tell you that. I’m the real deal. You don’t get more down to earth real than me. I’m the realist realist you’re gonna find. So the story they just printed about me being fake was fake. That means that two fakes make a real. So if they’re completely fake and their stories are fake, then the story about me being fake wasn’t real and I’m real which like I so totally already knew without their help.”. ~~slater.com©


New York, NY September 29, 2016
“It makes sense. I set the standards for beauty in contests that I own and run. If you don’t meet my standards don’t go crying to the press about it. Maybe you should just stop stuffing Dunkin Donuts down your piehole for a minute. I mean take a break honey. Give it a rest. You’re gonna wear out your choppers. Get a hobby, but don’t make it cooking, OK? Look, I’m as sensitive as the next guy, but this Miss Universe is spending her time complaining about things she said I told her years ago, please. I’m a businessman and her weight gain caused me to loose a few bucks so I told her to shape up or ship out. You think I invented shape up or ship out, huh? No, it’s been around for a long time. Get with the program honey. I like my models thin and thiner. Get it? Not dumb and dumber like you. I love women, but this is the beauty business. If you can’t stand the heat get back in the kitchen where you can be barefoot and pregnant for all I care, just not with my kid cause you have weight issues Miss Universe and I don’t put up with imperfection in the Trump family or any of our subsidiary organizations. Now don’t cry about it dear, there’s always next year at the Coney Island hot dog eating contest. You could partner with the 400 pound hacker I mentioned at the debate. I think you could do well as a team. As President I would have many new concepts for constructive citizenry including height and weight protocols. I believe strongly in eugenics and intend to apply Federal mandates for acceptable male and female appearance standardization”. —slater.com©


Detroit, MI September 4, 2016
“No, I have been and will remain totally focused. Being me doesn’t mean being anyone else. It means that I will project my insides outward for an aura of total honesty and trustworthiness. I completely deny that I want to be everything to everyone. Although as a salesman it is tempting to satisfy your audience and make the sale. I have been known to close a deal or two and then revert to my original plan. But let me tell you this, if my original plan was good then who cares. I mean what has anybody got to lose anyway? I’m me and I can get it done. You know it and I know it. Getting it done overrides following any game plan that may have been created by something that I might have said. Remember, I said it – so who would know what I meant better than me? And if I change my mind? Do you believe that only a lady can do that? That’s sexism. Rampant sexism and I won’t stand for it. Look however it turns out, don’t rely on some dopey speech I may have given or some plan you read about. Instead look for me to move the ball down the field and score the goal. Stop nitpicking about me saying one thing to one group and something else to another. In the end, if you elect me, you already know that I’ll do whatever I want whenever I want to. It’s less about a scattershot approach and more about winning. The ends justify the means, right? If you agree with me, vote for me and then let me worry about it.” —slater.com©


Edinburgh Scotland June 26, 2016
“This is great for me. I will make boatloads of money off of this decision and I think I was instrumental in guiding the Brits to this outcome. That is what you call true leadership. And yes I have my own self interest at heart. You don’t? There is really not much of a difference between the interests of the US and my personal holdings. Not the way I see it anyway. You’ve got to get up in the morning and take what’s truly yours if you want it like I do. Dream big dreams and don’t let anyone stand in your way. I told my fellow Scotsman to get on board or be left behind. Now some of these losers are buried under tons of dirt. At least their precious views are anyway. Play ball with me and I may throw a few crumbs your way. Act like my Scottish neighbors and I can leave your house sitting in the dark behind a 20 foot wall. They fought me and they lost. Losers loose. Read my books. So there are a lot of crybabies in Scotland right now who wasted their time fighting against me. But I cut the ribbon and launched one of the most beautiful courses anyway. Now they lost and their property is way down in value and they are behind a mountain of Trump dirt which they can stare at until they come to their senses and sell to me which is inevitable because winners win. It wouldn’t surprise me if Scotland ultimately joins up with the US after they break away from the UK and become a territory of the US. I’m not expansionist mind you but we have a lot to offer under my stewardship and I look forward to forming alliances with many willing partners during my terms”. —slater.com©


New York, NY March 13, 2016
“I like power. I like to jerk people around a bit. It was all in jolly good fun, no harm intended. I really never expected that Americans would take my FOX network seriously. But even when they did, I thought we were just a great counterpoint to the seemingly endless lopsided political rhetoric constantly being spewed out by the other networks. As the underdog we could nip at their heels and cause them some discomfort but I really never dreamed we would be an equal. I mean Donald Trump doesn’t exist without us laying the groundwork for him all of these years. We poured the foundation and built up the bricks and now he thinks he’ll just waltz into the White House without coming to see me and getting my blessing? I mean we don’t even get the credit for creating Trumpenstein? Who do you think made this possible? The Republican party is getting blamed/credited for stirring up the unwashed masses but if I hadn’t come over here and become a US citizen, there’d be no FOX and they’d of had no mouthpiece all these years now would they? I mean I surely have mixed emotions about Trump. I mean I take some pride in my role as at least partial creator of the Trump phenomena and I’m getting ratings like crazy as he is a consumate showman if nothing else. I’m also selling record amounts of my papers worldwide as global citizens are enthralled by Americas decline into the political gutter. It’s really my bailiwick don’t you know. But I live here in the US now and two things stick in my craw. First I set this whole thing up in part to accumulate power and control. So ironically my creation of Trump has given me neither as he doesn’t call or visit me looking for approval like all the others. Historically we could put out certain talking points that would be echoed on all my print and over the air properties causing selected candidates and elected officials to face certain indignation or cheers. Of course that was dependent on my personal viewpoints or that of those I directly promoted. While we didn’t control every word or decision made, I certainly wielded a sort of massive psudo-control over a high percentage of government such that I could move key ideas to the forefront and block those that didn’t suit me as well. But Trump appears to be mostly immune to our standard offensives and I’m feeling more like the common man every day, just an observer to the process when I’d much prefer my role as master manipulator and key mover and shaker. If I could go back I might have stayed in Australia and watched from a distance, if not for my sake then that of my grandchildren.” —slater.com©

Rupert Murdoch encouraged but wistful at his Fox News being named Americas most trusted Broadcast news source

New York March 11,2015
During an impromptu news conference held today in front of Fox News HQ at 1211 Avenue of the Americas CEO Rupert Murdoch said, “I would not have predicted that we could have accomplished so much of our plan so quickly. I mean if you had told me when we started that we would be the new “Walter Cronkite” after being in existence for such a comparatively short period of time I’d not have believed it. You know, we had to pay money to certain operators just to get them to carry our news initially. So it’s really a great day for us and today’s my birthday to boot! But I was hoping for a little more fight from the people though, I must tell you. I mean when you go fishing if the fish just jump into the boat, well, it’s not the same as a long struggle and ultimate success. This somehow doesn’t feel like you guys really gave it your best shot. Anyway we’ll take the win and dig even deeper into the culture of America to make fair and balanced change”. When asked why he initially founded the news division Murdoch responded,” Well, I really was interested in seeking some sort of retribution against Great Britain at first. As you know they set up part of Australia as a penal colony and although I don’t believe that my ancestors were among that group I am Australian first. So I felt a kinship with the original settlers and nobody likes to be abandoned in this manner.” You mean like The Wrath of Khan? “Well, I’m not sure of exactly what you mean by that but I got a little tired of creating sensationalized headlines and borderline pornographic newspaper spreads in the UK. I discovered that in the United States you could simply apply for citizenship and own as many media properties as a family who had been in the US for generations. I liked the openness and welcoming arms of America and I knew that I could leverage that to my advantage.” How so?,” Well, once you have an audience of tens of millions of voters, the incumbent politicians must take your call. Although they all love their country, I’ve never met one who was not seduced by the power of their job and ironically that puts them right where I want them.” That sounds kind of cryptic. Can you tell us what you mean by that? “Yes, Senators, Congressmen, Governors, etc. enjoy receiving positive upbeat coverage and conversely dislike negative stories. We write the copy. If they want our help they give us their ear.” What are you saying? “I’m saying that if our on-air staff from the anchors on down wish to continue to receive their inflated bi-weekly paychecks they better pay close attention to our daily distributed talking points and if the politicians want their best shot at election or re-election they’d also be well advised to stay in line as well.” Do they always obey? “No, of course not. These are bright individuals with active intelligent minds of their own. They do what they believe is in the best interest of their constituents. We merely advise their constituents what is in their best interest first. It’s all quite simple and above board, that I can fully assure you.” slater.com©