Tag Archives: Presidential


Washington, DC June 5, 2017
“When I feel a lull in coverage, I tweet. Ratings matter. I don’t care if my staff or family asks me to keep quiet. The show must go on. Nobody shuts me down. I’m the richest multi-billionaire President there ever was. That didn’t happen by accident. Timing. Timing. Some people wait for life to find them. I go and find life. I can mostly tell when to tweet or write or speak if it looks like everybody wants me to shut up. The more that I’m asked to keep a lid on it, the quicker I try to get my thoughts out to my people. Basically, I’m a contrarian. I do the opposite of the herd. Everyone says I should keep my big mouth shut so that’s my signal to lash out and spout like a harpooned whale. Recently though, I think they have caught on to my method of operating so they are using reverse psychology on me. Or at least they are trying to. Now when they tell me to speak out and tweet, I know that they don’t really want me to because they think I’ll do the opposite. But I’m on to them and I’m tweeting about people, cases before the Supreme Court, policies, intelligence, you name it. They can’t stop me and I won’t let them even try. I have the password to my twitter account and even if they take my phone away or shut it down, I can stop at any store or borrow anyones phone and release a fresh twitter storm at will. My voice which is the voice of my people will get out and be heard because I seem to know just what to say and exactly when to say it.” ~~slater.com©


Washington DC, March 12, 2017
“Obamacare is very very bad. Very bad. Sad even. Not redeemable in any way. A total mess. In a complete state of collapse. Totally over. Fortunately we will repeal and replace Obamacare with Trumpcare which will be a first class, high-end, total care plan. We will offer all kinds of healthcare packages for the American people. They will be very affordable. In fact each person will only buy what they can afford. No one and I repeat no one will be forced to buy any coverage at all. Buy whatever type of health coverage you like. If you like it buy it. Many people will go without and just roll the dice. That is their choice, right? We won’t force you to buy something that you don’t want like Obama did. You’re free now. Of course, if you buckle down, work hard, save and invest your money you can buy some of our gold and platinum packages with classy top-shelf healthcare and all the frills. That’s additional incentive to study, apply yourself and be fiscally disciplined. If not, you might need to go without or move to San Francisco and camp out near Nancy Pelosi’s house. She might fund a clinic for anyone who stops by. I’m more of a cash and carry type of guy. In any case, I always say don’t give a man a Band-Aid. Teach him how to heal a wound on his own and he’ll never have an open sore again.” ~~slater.com©


New York, NY January 16, 2017
“I really didn’t want to do it. The press is very important to me. Very important. But the space constraints in the White House briefing room have become intolerable. We cannot treat our cherished guardians of the freedom of the press to such horrendously cramped and outdated facilities. Therefore I have instructed my staff to begin to design a much larger space somewhere on the White House grounds. This new space will hold ten times more press than that tiny old location. More press, not less and more is better, I think you’ll agree. While they will no longer be in the very same building as me when I am sworn in on Friday, I can assure you that I will grant them access to me and my staff as needed, you can count on that. Some of you may know that President Nixon covered up the White House pool which is located directly beneath the current Press Briefing Room. I will remove the floor of the press room and restore the pool to it’s original splendor. Additionally, this is not like the old days, I’d strongly advise the press to refocus its considerable energies on my burgeoning twitter feed where anything they may wish to know is prominently displayed for all to see”. ~slater.com©


New York, NY December 4, 2016
“I was elected to use my judgement. My judgement. Not the judgement of the swampy political elite in the State Department. I took a look at the state of the world and quite frankly, I’m not that impressed. Should I really call the people who got us here? Is there anyone in the world who is more successful than me? Has anyone in the world ever become President without being a General or holding previous elected office? Has anyone ever been as financially successful as me? I’m the single most successful person in the history of the world, so far, and there should be at least a little credit thrown my way. But no, the media only throws shade. Sad! Look folks, get used to my making calls and answering the phone when I get a call. Businessmen answer their phones. They do deals. They make things happen. I’m not going to call my diplomatic handler every time I get an idea. I’m an entrepreneur. I’m free and I like to speak my mind. I’m bringing freedom to the Oval Office and things are gonna swing in our direction for a change. I’ll call who I want when I want and speak about whatever. Get used to it.” ~slater.com©

Marco Rubio says his personal financial mismanagement should not be considered a predictor of his future success

Miami, Florida June 11, 2015
Florida Senator Marco Rubio today said, “The spurious attacks by the New York Times against me and my families financial problems must end. I may have made a few small miscalculations throughout my career but who hasn’t. As a very poor kid growing up the son of a maid and a bartender, how could I be expected to have known better?” Rubio was asked if he thought it was odd that he didn’t even know the very basics of good money management practices including cashing in retirement accounts and incurring the massive penalties when other more advantageous options were available? Rubio said, “As a poor boy from an immigrant family how could I know this?” He was asked if he thought that any Junior High School student could do a quick search online and learn about proper money management skills and the pitfalls of closing retirement accounts early. Rubio said, “How could I be expected to know what they are teaching today in school? These kids can do wonders with these crazy computer machines. Have you seen them type with their thumbs on those small screens? C’mon now”. Rubio was asked if he was in so much debt that he needed to cash in his retirement account why purchase a speedboat for $80,000 and a new luxury model Audi? Rubio said, “Here you go again. Capitalism is good. Get it? Buying things is what we want to have happen, OK? Not buying things slows down the economy, alright? I did my part. Now instead of bothering me with a barrage of needlessly tricky questions why don’t you help your country like I did and go shopping?” Rubio was asked about his wife’s recent paperwork mismanagement as well. Rubio said, “There you go trying to disparrage my family and bring them into the mix. Well, my family is not running to preside over the US. I am and I am satisfied with who they are and what they do. If I know them best and I am satisfied who else needs to be?” Rubio was asked if the fact that the Senate was instrumental in setting up the retirement rules to protect people from doing just what he has done seems a little ironic to him? Rubio said, “Just because I am the child of immigrants doesn’t mean you can try to run circles around me with your convoluted logic and complicated theorems. I’m not sure what you mean and I don’t know how many real Americans care about you or your postulations. Moreover my Presidency won’t be about ad hominem attacks and gottcha moments. It’ll be about people. It’ll be about family and it’ll be about freedom. Freedom from tyranny like the tyranny in Cuba and other tyranical situations around the world. So keep looking into how I act in my personal life and dig as deep as you want but know this – the American people will elect me President based on what I say and do during the campaign and not what I do in my home or private business. Maybe if you spent more time listening to my speeches instead of trying to discover who I might be behind the curtain you’d gain some real insight for your readers.” —-slater.com©